Monthly Archives: September 2013

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.” – Ecclesiastes 3:12 

Back in the 60’s and 70’s during his heyday I was a big fan of country singer Roger Miller.  Many may remember him for his hit song “King of the Road”, but for me it was the nonsensical lyrics he so masterfully wrote like “Do Wacka Do”, followed by a little “root doot doot doot do-wah”.  What I loved about those nonsensical lyrics was . . . well, sometimes they actually made a lot of sense.  Consider my all-time favorite that goes like this:  “Oh, you can’t roller skate in buffalo herd, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.  All you gotta do is put your mind to it, knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it”.

Who in the world would even think up such a silly idea as rolling skating in a buffalo herd except, of course, do-wacky-do Roger Miller?  It’s so absurd, in fact, it makes absolutely no sense, except that it does when you listen to the rest of the verse.  And that’s the whole point of the song, that even in the midst of life’s absurdities “you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.  All you gotta do is put your mind to it, knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it.”

Happiness is like love in that attaining it and retaining it is much more deliberate than it is circumstantial.  That is to say it happens because we choose it – we put our mind to it – much more than because life hands it to us.  I’ve told this before about when my brother and sister-in-law celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary their grandson asked how they managed to stay married for fifty years, to which my brother offered this simple yet brilliant response.  “You just do,” he said.  In other words, living together and staying in love all those years – being happy! – does not just happen because you’re lucky.  It is because you choose for it to be so, “knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it”.

As wise King Solomon once said, “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.”  And you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17 

The former CEO of my former corporate employer, a large Wall Street investment firm, used to say that “people will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  When he first said this it was exactly what everyone needed to hear, for it was in the late 1980’s just when the internet was gaining traction in revolutionizing all sorts of commerce, creating fear among those in almost every industry that the new electronic age would soon replace humans altogether.  The financial services industry being at the leading edge of that fear needed to hear our CEO’s inspiring reminder more than ever, that human beings will always need other human beings.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Looking back it is amazing how prophetic the words of our former CEO were; for as much as the internet has become a fast and reliable universal resource it has yet to replace the need for human interaction and expertise.  Take medicine, for example, where the internet has all kinds of information about diseases, ailments, conditions, and treatments, but when we are ill we still need a doctor, do we not?  The same can be said for almost any profession.  People will always need the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.

“There is a mental sharpness that comes from being around good people,” I read recently, “and a meeting of minds can help people see their ideas with new clarity, refine them, and shape them into brilliant insights.”  Those words, in fact, are practically the mantra of my profession of executive coaching, a profession created specifically for the purpose of one person sharpening another.   Ironically coaching as a profession didn’t even exist prior to the evolution of the internet.  Could it be that the overwhelming volume of information available at the mere click of a mouse actually increased awareness for the need of human interaction rather than suppressing it?

Two people who bring their thoughts and ideas together can help each other become sharper – just as iron sharpens iron.  “People will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  Technology will never replace that.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  – Jeremiah 29:11

When we adopted our beloved family dog from the pound several years ago she was already fourteen months old.  We didn’t know much about her history at the time except that she is a blue-heeler, a breed of dogs used for herding cattle for which she had been appropriately named Cowgirl.  At the time we owned a small cattle ranch on which we had invested in a small herd of Black Angus heifers.  Now Cowgirl had only been in our family about three days when we decided to go out and check on our ranch and livestock, and when we arrived the cattle were grazing in a wheat field off in a distance. 

Without thinking we let Cowgirl out of the pickup to stretch her legs, but when we did she took off like a bullet toward those cows.  We had no idea what was up!  But when she saw the cows her instincts kicked in and she knew exactly what to do.  She knew, in fact, what she was born to do; for in a matter of minutes she had taken charge of the cows, rounded them up and herded them back to the coral near where we were standing.  It was amazing to watch, and not just the action but the look of joy and satisfaction on Cowgirl’s face.  She was made to do what she had just done, it was her special talent.

Just like Cowgirl, each of us has something special for which we were uniquely made.  Stephen Covey referred to it as our “voice”, others our sweet spot or calling.  When we know that about ourselves is when we start to become our best and most effective.  It is why coaches like myself start off new clients by helping them identify their unique gifts and talents before we proceed to work on any other specific issues.  It’s critical.

We have each been created with a purpose which is manifested in our unique gifts and abilities.  When we try to be someone different than who we are uniquely made to be we will inevitably fall short of our highest potential.  But when we know – like Cowgirl knew – that’s when we become our most effective, and with that we experience our greatest joy and satisfaction.  It’s God’s plan for us and His gift to us.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.

“I will make you a community of peoples . . .”  – Genesis 48:4 

Now don’t laugh, those of you who know me well – or even if you don’t but have taken a glance at the mug shot on my website – because what I want to talk about is barbershops.  I love barbershops, at least the old fashioned kind.  I know, I know you’re probably holding your sides with laughter already asking yourselves why Dan would ever need to darken the door of a barbershop with nothing but a little gray fuzz around the fringe.  Well, believe it or not folks, once upon a time I had hair, a full head of it.  Back in those days I really enjoyed going to the barbershop.  Nowadays I just go to one of those places that’s like a fast food restaurant, put my name on the list, and inform the nameless person who happens to be available that I want a “three, blocked in the back.”  Wham-bam, in less than four minutes (I’ve timed it) I’m out of there.

That’s not the kind of experience I’m talking about.  I liked the barbershop I went to when I was a kid growing up.  My barber’s name was G. F. Givens, a man about my dad’s age or maybe a little older.  Back then the barbershop was a gathering place for all sorts of characters, a place where there was a lot of chatter about local politics, the high school football team, weather, and some sort of combination of arguing and joking.  My favorite trick was walking out of the barbershop without paying for my haircut complaining it wasn’t worth it.  It was a trick to get old G. F. to chase me down the street, but he never did.  He just stood there knowing I would come back with the $1.50 I owed clinched in my fist which he grabbed while handing me a piece of Double-Bubble.

In his popular little book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum wrote a cute little essay about his relationship with his barber.  “Once a month we reviewed the world and our lives and explored our positions,” he said.  “We became mirrors, confidants, confessors, therapists, and companions in an odd sort of way.  We went through being thirty years old and then forty.  We discussed and argued and joked, but always with a certain thoughtful deference.”  That’s the kind of barbershop I’m talking about.  We could use more of those kinds of gathering places.  God said, “I will make you a community of peoples.”  Old fashioned barbershops were great communities.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 5:3 

How much is enough?  Arguably, this may be one of the most relevant questions of our modern age in the Western world.  If we base our evidence on the excessive consumption we see around us there is no doubt about the extraordinary buying power that exists in our world today.  But is there a direct correlation between more and happier, and if so how much is enough?

Contrast that by examining happiness among the poor.  My own brief experiences of working with those we might consider the poorest of the poor, mostly in Central America, has offered me some insight about this question.  Specifically I remember Isabel, a Honduran woman who resided in a deeply impoverished barrio community just outside the city of Tegucigalpa.  For a week she and I worked side by side on a project and though we did not speak the same language we became fast friends.  During that week what amazed me about Isabel was that she and her companions were some of the happiest people I’ve ever met in spite of the fact they lived in conditions that are unimaginable for most of us.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, perhaps the most renowned servant of the poor in our modern age, once noted of the Western world, “I have walked at night in your streets, I have entered your homes.  I have found in them more poverty than in India.”  What she was referring to was not economic poverty, but poverty of the soul.  So we ask ourselves, how much is enough?

To live in a place where opportunities abound for financial success is a blessing and a privilege, but what are we to do with our abundance and how much is enough?  The greatest reward in my profession as a coach and consultant occurs when I see high achieving successful clients begin to transition their focus from success to significance, from money to meaning, and it always begins when they asked themselves the question, “how much is enough?”  Joy awaits those willing to give up their own rights to serve others.  “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”