“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

• James 1:19 

Upon his arrival home from work one day a father discovered the front window of his home shattered to smithereens, and there in the yard lay the evidence, a baseball bat and ball.  So, without further investigation the father stormed into the house, found his young son, and was just about to administer the punishment he obviously deserved for what appeared to be an open and shut case . . . until his wife walked in with the boy next door in tow who had confessed to the whole matter.

For many years during my previous career I served as an arbitrator in our industry when disputes arose between two parties.  The way the arbitration system works, arbitrators receive in advance a written detailed explanation of the claim from the claimant (plaintive) as well as a detailed response from the respondent (defendant).  After reading the claim and response I would invariably conclude that it was an open and shut case in need of no further investigation . . . that is, until I listened to the verbal testimonies on the actual day of the hearing.  In most cases my initial conclusion would either be proven wrong, or I would learn something about the evidence that otherwise was not obvious.

Interesting how one of the oldest stories in literature is about what seemed to be an open and shut case, at least that’s what Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar had thought about their friend Job from the Biblical story bearing his name.  Why else would Job have lost everything he had – his family, wealth and health – unless he was being punished by God for some undisclosed sin he had committed?  All the evidence they needed was in plain sight they thought, Job sitting on an ash heap, clothes ripped to shreds, head shaved, his body covered with painful sores.  No need for further investigation, as Job’s three “friends” accusingly rushed to his side in their respective attempts to convince him to confess – to something he did not do.  And if things were not bad enough for poor Job, he was forced to defend himself in kangaroo court where Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar presided as the self-appointed – not to mention self-righteous – judges.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”  What a difference it makes if we will simply keep our mouths shut and listen – to both sides.

“. . . seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:33 

We once had this rising star in our company, Will I will call him, who everyone had their eye on as someone who was going places.  Will was young, smart, and handsome with a magnetic personality, and the promotions were coming faster than they could print new business cards for him, moving his young family from one city to the next before they had time to unpack their boxes.  Being a bit older and more stable in my position at that point, I was aware of the hazards that come with such rapid rise of a young ambitious and capable person like Will.

Sure enough, my greatest fears for Will began to unfold one evening in a Las Vegas casino.  There was a company conference we were attending, and one evening as inevitably happens in Vegas a group migrated to a nearby casino.  Will stepped up to one of the game tables, and with his colleagues cheering him on, began placing bets that were way beyond his means, showing off to put it bluntly.  Although there was not much I could do to stop him, I do recall standing off in the shadows wanting to scream, “No Will, don’t do it!”  It paid off for him, though you might say, because soon after Will was offered still another promotion.  But then the wheels started to come off in his personal life as he became separated from his wife and children and eventually divorced.

Will’s downfall in his personal life can neither be blamed on his rapid rise in the ranks nor his long work hours or dedication to his job and company.  He simply got his priorities mixed up, something any of us can be vulnerable to.  Except by the grace of God, in fact, it could easily have been me.  That old joke we have all heard, “no one ever confessed on his deathbed that he wished he had spent more time at the office,” is really no joke at all but a wise proverb; or as Jesus tells it to us straight up, “seek first [God’s] kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  In other words, first get your priorities straight, number one being seeking God’s kingdom.

It has been many years since I last had contact with Will, but I pray he is doing well and has gotten his priorities straight.  He was such a smart, capable guy with tremendous potential.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

I don’t think I cared an inkling about the game of volleyball, would not have expended the energy to flip the sports page to read about it or pushed a button on the remote to watch it on TV, that is until our thirteen-year-old granddaughter Corrina began to develop into quite an amazing volleyball player in recent years.  Not only watching her play – because she is my granddaughter after all – but witnessing her passion for the game and her dedication to improving her skills and abilities has inspired me to learn more about the game and gain a greater appreciation of it.

The unique characteristic I have observed watching our granddaughter’s teams is that unlike other team sports that are often led by one or two stand-out players (and she is one), the real star of a great volleyball team is, without fail, the teamwork itself.  The best teams, in fact, always seem to be the ones that work best as a team, who have a rhythm about them on the court as if dancing together.  When you see it, it is amazing to watch!

But there is another characteristic that has sort of baffled me, at least it has been true with the teams Corrina has played on.  At the end of every play, regardless of which team scores the point, the team members all high-five each other, which is understandable if they win the point.  But even when they lose, maybe especially when they lose, they still high-five, even with a player who may have blundered.  Because my focus has always been on my granddaughter’s team, and Corrina in particular, I have not paid that much attention to other teams, so I don’t know if this is a tradition of the sport, or a peculiar characteristic of my granddaughter’s teams.  Either way, I have wondered why that is.

Several years ago I was facilitating a board retreat where Timmy Newsom, former great running back for the Dallas Cowboys (1980-1988) was a participant.  Timmy revealed something about himself that I will never forget, that in all his years playing football he never worried about losing yardage on a play because there was always a chance to do better on the next one.  Hmm!  So that’s why those girls always high-five. 

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,” the Apostle Paul said.  Couldn’t we all do a little more of that – and do with receiving a little more of it too?

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”  – Romans 12:21 

Several years ago a friend of mine was speaking at a conference where after one of his presentations he was approached by a man who began to verbally attack him over something he had said, or at least something the man had perceived he had said.  As my friend’s presentation was not of a subject matter that was especially controversial or political it was probably more the latter, an opinion formed perhaps by age, demographic, and geographical differences rather than philosophical ones.  At any rate, my friend managed to maintain his composure during his attacker’s tirade by respectfully acknowledging what he had to say and moving on.

That was not the end of it, though.  Later my friend sought the man out and invited him to have coffee.  Over coffee they began to chat and realize they had more in common than either would have otherwise imagined, not that they agreed on everything, but at least gained some respect for the other’s views, in a way perhaps even becoming friends.

I have thought about my friend’s story a thousand times since I first heard it, and probably told it almost as many.  One, it is so unlike me whose tendency is to strike back when attacked, or else to withdraw and sulk.  My friend is a much better man than me in that regard.  More importantly, though, I think my friend’s response comes as near to demonstrating true Christian living as any I have ever witnessed or heard; for if we are to live in the image of God, as recipients of God’s grace we should extend that same grace – that same undeserved favor – to others, exactly as my friend had done.

Forgiveness, I am beginning to learn, is not necessarily something we say, it is something we do.  Though he never used the word, my friend through his kindness toward his attacker, granted him the favor of forgiveness in the fullest way by transforming an adversarial relationship into one at the very least of friendly respect.

Paul says it clearly, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil . . . If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.”  (A cup of coffee can do wonders as my friend would attest.)  Finally, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

“Always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”  – 1 Thessalonians 5:15 

On our recent trip to Stockholm to visit family Tee and I set out one day to explore a particular section of the city.  As we emerged from the subway station and began walking down the street Tee casually suggested to me that we should identify a landmark to keep us oriented so we could find our way back to the train station.  It so happened at that very moment we were walking in front of an outdoor café, and no sooner had she said it than out stepped the proprietor of the cafe.  “Excuse me,” he interrupted, “I overheard your conversation, and may I point out to you that church steeple over there, a landmark you can see from almost anywhere.  Look for that and you will never be lost.”

As it turned out, that single event set the tone for our entire two weeks visiting Stockholm, as the café proprietor’s kindness and friendliness was in fact not unusual at all but rather quite the norm.  Soon we began to believe it to be the friendliest and most courteous city we have ever visited.  When boarding public transportation, for instance, whether a bus, train car, or ferry, if it was standing-room-only riders would jump to their feet offering their seats – even to us, strangers in a foreign land.  It was amazing!

In what is perhaps Jesus’ best known and most widely quoted parable, he tells the story of a man found lying in the dust on the side of the road beaten half to death and robbed of his belongings.  After a priest and a Levite hurried past to tend to their much more urgent business, a third man came along who stopped, tending to the victim, binding his wounds, then loading him on his donkey and delivering him to a place of care and safety, an act so profound that even in today’s news when we read about some kind soul stopping to render aid we still refer to that person, as from Jesus’ parable, a Good Samaritan.

The kindness, courtesy, and respect we experienced in Stockholm caused me to consider something about the Good Samaritan that I had never thought of.  More than just a one-off act of kindness – in contrast to the two who passed by on the other side of the road – it reflects an attitude, which in the broader society translates into a culture of kindness, courtesy and respect for others; for as Frederick Buechner once wrote, “unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily.”  As the Apostle Paul says, “Always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”