“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’.”  – Matthew 5:37 

The word “dedication” has been on my mind recently, which reminded me of my late brother-in-law Chuck who worked for IBM for I don’t know how many years – forty maybe? – before he retired.  To give you an idea, he went to work there after serving in the Navy back when IBM’s hottest selling consumer product was electric typewriters.  Anyone old enough to remember those contraptions?  Obviously, to have been there that long Chuck grew beyond the electric typewriters’ obsolescence, learning new products and gaining bigger promotions.  The one thing about Chuck that didn’t change, though, was his dedication to IBM.  In fact, the way he spoke so fondly of his employer, even after his retirement, caused me to suspect the blood in his veins must be IBM blue.

That is not to say Chuck’s dedication came from some sort of blind loyalty.  I doubt he would have been nearly as dedicated had IBM not been equally as dedicated to taking care of its own – works both ways.  Yet, I also know that dedication to keeping one’s commitments was one of Chuck’s core values.  It came through in other ways he lived his life, his dedication to his family, his marriage to my sister-in-law, his community, and work he took on after retirement whether paid or volunteer.

Dedication has to do with keeping our commitments, doing what we say we’re going to do when we say we’re going to do it.  It is about our word being our bond.  We live in an age of written contracts, often containing pages of fine print covering minute details.  Yet, how many contracts still wind up in dispute, leading to lawsuits, broken relationships, broken dreams, and sometimes broken hearts?  Such would not be the case if more were dedicated to keeping their commitments.

Jesus breaks it down this way, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’.”  Imagine if that were a deeper core value in our society, how lawsuit liabilities would be reduced, divorce rates decline, the economic impact it would have on such things as insurance rates, and the price of goods and services, and ultimately more trusting relationships with our fellow human beings.  What if we could all be more dedicated, keeping our commitments in our jobs, with our spouses and families and communities?  It’s up to us to get the ball rolling.  “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’.”

“Seek good, not evil, that you may live.”  – Amos 5:14 

During a recent routine checkup my long-time physician after glancing at my chart looked up and jokingly remarked that I had reached the exact age of average life expectancy for men in America.  (Oh, gee, thanks Doc, just what I wanted to be reminded of!)  I suppose that means in just a few short months, on my next birthday – assuming I make it – I will have beaten the odds.  (Whoopee!)  Simultaneously, I find myself wrestling with my emotions over the fact that our two oldest granddaughters who are entering their senior years of high school, will in just a few short months, this coming spring, be graduating, that great right-of-passage into adulthood.

Seems we are sort of bookends on the timeline of life, my granddaughters and me.  And if that sounds a bit melancholy on my part nothing could be further from the truth.  Yes, I miss that they will not be little girls anymore, but they’ve long outgrown that anyway.  Neither is aging of particular concern to me as I have found this in many ways to be the most fulfilling season of life so far.  Yes, in my case some of that can be attributed to good fortune – reasonably good health, financial comfort, a long happy marriage, and the fine family we have blessed with, including our five beautiful granddaughters.  But true fulfillment has little to do with good fortune, I have learned, otherwise why do so many who have attained good fortune, much greater than mine, seem unfulfilled, while others who have suffered misfortunes of all sorts seem extraordinarily fulfilled?

It is the secret to life, it seems to me, that God is trying to get across to us throughout the scriptures.  “Seek good, not evil,” wrote the prophet Amos, “that you may live.”  I don’t think the Prophet was warning about Santa Claus coming to town, that if we are good little girls and boys we get presents, but if we are bad we are apt to get zapped.  I think what he really means is by seeking out the good we will discover a truly fulfilling life, something Jesus was crystal clear about when He said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  And I don’t think he meant life filled with good fortune as we think of it from a worldly perspective, rather a life filled with an indescribable joy.

If I can somehow convey that one lesson to my grandchildren as I live out my days, then my life will have been lived to the “full”, that one day – someday – so may theirs be.

“Therefore . . . let us be thankful.”  — Hebrews 12:28 

“Happy people don’t always have the best of everything.  But they know how to make the best of what they have.”  I read that quote in an article this past week and immediately thought of my maternal grandmother, Mema.  Mema always looked elegant – always – whether she was puttering around doing housework, entertaining guests in her small modest living room, or going to church or some other dressy affair.  She had a natural beauty about her anyway, but she always appeared dressed up, even though her entire wardrobe consisted of no more than three simple dresses.  That was it!  You would never know it, though, because she managed to use her creativity to adorn her modest wardrobe in so many different ways, with colorful scarves and simple pieces of inexpensive costume jewelry, that one would think she owned a massive closet full of clothes.

Her wardrobe is just one example of the way she went about everything in her life, never concerning herself with what she didn’t have, rather always focused on making the best of what she did have.  In fact, I don’t remember hearing my grandmother ever complain, “I wish I had [this or that]”.  What I do remember is her gratitude for what she did have, the gas space heater that warmed her cozy living room in the winter, or the swamp-cooler that cooled it during the summer heat, the tiny simple kitchen where she was constantly cooking and baking, mostly for others, or how blessed she was for the people who gave her rides to the grocery store or church on Sunday since she didn’t own a car.

I always loved visiting my grandmother, for I knew as I approached the front door of her small, modest wood-framed house that I was about to enter a happy, cheerful sort of wonderland, and to be embraced by a happy, cheerful person.  Well known and admired in her small community she influenced more people than you can ever imagine.

More than anyone I have ever known my grandmother knew the secret to living an abundant life.  (If only I had paid closer attention and followed in her footsteps at an earlier age!)  Surprisingly, it was not because she knew how to make the best of what she had.  Instead, she made the best of what she had because she was first and foremost thankful – thankful to God – for what she had, and that made all the difference.  “Therefore, let us be thankful” that our lives too may be abundant like hers.

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”

• Hebrews 10:24

I got to know Al Goldstein while working a parttime job when I was in college.  Al was an imposingly large man with a pot belly and his front teeth missing, who was struggling to support a wife and six kids.  Other than serving in the Navy, he never finished high school, and was a chain-smoking alcoholic with a criminal record.  To earn extra money, on weekends he worked as a bartender and bouncer in some dive in a seedy part of town where fights often broke out, which probably explains what happened to his front teeth.  To me he was the most vulgar human being I had ever met.  Yet, for some reason I liked him anyway.  Something about him fascinated me, perhaps it was my curiosity about the dark underworld he lived in that I had never been exposed to before, or maybe I sensed a good heart buried somewhere deep within his soul.

Eventually, I got called up for active-duty training in the army for the National Guard unit I had joined, so I had to leave. When I returned a few months later they were kind enough to give me my old job back while I completed my undergraduate degree.  To my great surprise, when I walked back in that first day I almost didn’t recognize Al.  His beer belly had trimmed down, and he was clear-eyed after giving up smoking and drinking, had found more honorable ways to supplement his income than that sleezy beer joint, and to my great surprise, he had this glowing smile showcasing a brand new set of front teeth.

During the months I was away Al had changed from being one of the most vulgar human beings I had ever known to just the opposite, and he was not shy about sharing his transformation.  His wife, after patiently coxing him for many years, got him to attend church with her where he was exposed to good people doing good things, who cared for each other and for others, whose mission was to help others and make the world a better place, in sharp contrast to that dark underworld where he had lived most of his life.

Faith communities, service organizations, philanthropists, volunteers, good people doing good things, there are lots of them around.  Want to change the world for the better?  “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”  If it can happen to Al it can happen to anyone.  Just look what his wife did by spurring him on.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

• James 1:19 

Upon his arrival home from work one day a father discovered the front window of his home shattered to smithereens, and there in the yard lay the evidence, a baseball bat and ball.  So, without further investigation the father stormed into the house, found his young son, and was just about to administer the punishment he obviously deserved for what appeared to be an open and shut case . . . until his wife walked in with the boy next door in tow who had confessed to the whole matter.

For many years during my previous career I served as an arbitrator in our industry when disputes arose between two parties.  The way the arbitration system works, arbitrators receive in advance a written detailed explanation of the claim from the claimant (plaintive) as well as a detailed response from the respondent (defendant).  After reading the claim and response I would invariably conclude that it was an open and shut case in need of no further investigation . . . that is, until I listened to the verbal testimonies on the actual day of the hearing.  In most cases my initial conclusion would either be proven wrong, or I would learn something about the evidence that otherwise was not obvious.

Interesting how one of the oldest stories in literature is about what seemed to be an open and shut case, at least that’s what Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar had thought about their friend Job from the Biblical story bearing his name.  Why else would Job have lost everything he had – his family, wealth and health – unless he was being punished by God for some undisclosed sin he had committed?  All the evidence they needed was in plain sight they thought, Job sitting on an ash heap, clothes ripped to shreds, head shaved, his body covered with painful sores.  No need for further investigation, as Job’s three “friends” accusingly rushed to his side in their respective attempts to convince him to confess – to something he did not do.  And if things were not bad enough for poor Job, he was forced to defend himself in kangaroo court where Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar presided as the self-appointed – not to mention self-righteous – judges.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”  What a difference it makes if we will simply keep our mouths shut and listen – to both sides.