“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people. . .”

–          Galatians 6:9-10 

My bowl of cereal was sitting in front of me that morning while I thumbed through the newspaper, as is my custom, when my attention was unexpectedly drawn away from the usual business and sports news that normally captured my attention, to a book review.  The year was 1994 when book review articles were not exactly top priority, especially given the tight schedule I was on to get to the office.  But the title of this newly released book grabbed me, Halftime by (the now late) Bob Buford, a book addressed to people – men mostly – in or approaching midlife.  Until that moment I had never considered that I was at that exact point in life.  By day’s end, however, the book was in my possession.

For most of my life I had been led to believe that my lot in life was to become successful, by that I mean financially successful, and by 1994 my career was certainly on the rise.  But looking back now I realize that while financial security is always appealing, the effort and sacrifice it was going to take to attain it was not so appealing – not for me at least.  Nevertheless, over the next several years my career did continue to advance, and accordingly my fortunes grew as well.  Yet, at the same time Buford’s message of “changing one’s game plan from success to significance” nagged at me, causing me to question my motives of pursuing success versus focusing instead on doing good. 

Today I’m happy to report that the latter eventually won out over the former, and while we continue to live comfortably, the wealth and status I had once believed to be my lot in life never materialized.  And how blessed my life has been as a result.

To think it all happened so unexpectedly over a routine bowl of cereal and the morning newspaper, a message I’m convinced was from God – conveyed through Bob Buford’s book – that would profoundly change my life.  For that I will be forever grateful.  “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people. . .”

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.”  – Ecclesiastes 3:11 

My grandparents’ homestead was a grand estate.  That’s not an exaggerated childhood memory, it truly was.  While it might not quite attain mansion status by today’s standards, it would certainly come close.  It was a massive six-bedroom two-story house above a huge two-room basement, with grounds that included an English rose garden, my grandmother’s prolific vegetable garden, a large backyard that included a fountain and fishpond at one end and an outdoor fireplace at the other.  But most memorable to me as a child was the tile swimming pool, a rarity in those days, where I learned to swim.  The pool area included a cabana complete with his-and-her full dressing rooms with showers, a laundry facility and servants’ quarters.  Adjacent to the pool was a lighted tennis court.  What a showplace it was, not to mention the memories of my grandparents’ warm hospitality, especially the huge platters of fried chicken my grandmother would prepare in the summertime while the rest of us were swimming.

Several weeks ago, while passing through the small town where my grandparents had lived, we made a detour by the old homeplace.  Sadly, it was barely visible for all the unkempt trees, shrubs and weeds that grown up around it.  Peeking through the overgrowth as best we could, we could see the whole place had deteriorated badly, as had the once prosperous neighborhood surrounding it.

I’m a little like that myself these days I suppose, deteriorating that is.  An old acquaintance reminded me of that the other day, amused by a picture he had seen of me at a much younger age, referring to a wedding photo I had posted on Facebook recently on the day of our forty-seventh wedding anniversary.  “Wow!” he remarked, “you looked so young, I almost didn’t recognize you.”  Admittedly, I did have more hair back then – among several other features – which he also observed was a different color. 

“He has made everything beautiful in its time,” like my grandparents’ home back in its glory days, or my looks at a younger age, though not exactly beautiful.  There is a season and a purpose for everything, the writer of Ecclesiastes points out, and through it God gives us a glimpse of the perfection of His creation – but only a glimpse – so that through our own lives and those we touch that beauty is re-created for another season and time.

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” 

–          Psalm 90:12 

For years I was not much of a reader.  This extended well into adulthood.  I read, of course, what was required in school, but not much more, except for newspapers and magazines.  But books?  I had little interest.  It was not that I was incapable, just that sitting still for an extended period of time curled up with a book seemed like an incredible waste of time when I could be doing something else.  Maybe I suffered from a little undiagnosed attention deficit disorder.  Who knows.

This tidbit may come as a surprise, for most people today know me as a voracious book reader, which I am.  I don’t recall exactly when or how I caught the reading bug, except at some point I started reading novels, bestseller types, devouring them, one after another.  Eventually, that led to reading out of a desire to learn.  Through the years, books have changed my life.  If only I had known then what I know now, the amazing power of reading books, and the vast knowledge and wisdom to be attained from them.

Haven’t we all made that same remark about various things in our lives, “if only I had known then what I know now”?  Someone once said, if only the young could be old for a day, they would neither fear so much growing old, nor foolishly squander the days of their youth.

Julia Cameron, in her book The Artist’s Way (speaking of influential books I have read!) offers a helpful remedy for this common malady.  “Write a letter from you at eighty to you at your current age,” she suggests.  “What would you tell yourself?  What interests would you tell yourself to pursue?  What dreams would you encourage?”  If only I had done this exercise myself forty or fifty years ago.  If only I had known then what I know now. 

The Psalmist sums it up this way, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  What do we want to see happen in our lives before we die?  What small steps can we take toward that purpose today?  And what else can we do to circumvent that all-too-common malady, “If only I had known then what I know now”?

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize . . .”  –  Philippians 3:14 

“Put first things first,” is how Stephen Covey describes Habit Number 3 in his widely read book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  In other words, highly effective people are those who identify what is most important and make it top priority, above everything else.  They focus on opportunities rather than problems, centered on their mission rather than being seduced by outside forces.  “The key,” as Covey puts it, “is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

In my former career I was responsible for a bond trading operation for a major Wall Street investment firm.  On any given day it was a beehive of activity, phones ringing constantly, squawk boxes blaring, people shouting across the room, a chaotic atmosphere, a perpetual fire drill.  There was an urgency about everything we did; the ringing phones demanded our immediate attention, impatient investors who needed someone to help them “right now!” Yet in the heat of battle decisions had to be made, big decisions involving substantial sums of money.  It was those big decisions that were of utmost importance; for from them our profitability was derived, our life blood, our reason for being, the purpose of our existence, our mission.  If we were not careful, though, the urgency of the ringing phones and blaring squawk boxes could become seductive, distracting us from the importance of the big decisions that had to be made.  In other words, in the midst of that perpetual fire drill we had to manage to put first things first.

In a sense, the experience of working on a bond trading desk was an imitation of real life, for in real life we constantly encounter urgent demands on our time and energy, problems to be solved, projects to complete, impatient people who need us to help them “right now!”  And it is not as if we can or should ignore those urgent demands, for indeed they must be responded to.  Rather it is a matter of prioritizing, because if we are not careful the demands of life’s urgent matters can become seductive, distracting us from what is most important, our reason for being, the purpose of our existence, our life mission.  For the Apostle Paul that means to “press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me.”  Or as Covey encourages us to do in order to become highly effective individuals, get in the habit of putting first things first.

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

–          Romans 14:19 

What does it mean to be tolerant?  Or perhaps the better question is, how do we practice appropriate tolerance in today’s world?  On the one extreme some might answer that tolerance means anything goes, to simply live and let live.  At the other end of the spectrum are those who believe tolerance should not be tolerated at all, that doing so is simply sending society to hell in a handbag.  The problem with the two extremes is that one lends itself to a world of chaos with no common value system and sense of order, while the other leads to exclusivity and isolationism, thus perpetuating the divisions and adversities that already exist in this increasingly global society.

My friends who periodically volunteer to work inside prisons – and there are a number of them who do this – have taught me more about practicing tolerance than anyone I know.  What I’ve observed about them is twofold: (1) Upon returning from a weekend on the “inside” they always refer to the men they encounter by their first names, that is as fellow human beings and never as prisoners, inmates or criminals; yet (2) neither do they ever excuse them for their offenses.  Instead, by spending time with these incarcerated individuals they come to understand them as real people with real feelings, real desires and real needs to be loved and to love, to forgive and be forgiven.  My friends often reflect on the fact that they – indeed all of us – are only one bad decision away from being in the same circumstance.  There but by the grace of God am I.

There is a marvelous scene in the movie “Invictus” in which Nelson Mandela (played by Morgan Freeman) is being scolded for his acts of forgiveness and peacefulness toward those who had imprisoned him for almost three decades.  In his response he said something to the effect that he had gotten to know his enemies, in his case the promoters of apartheid.  He had read their poetry, studied their writings, and engaged them in conversation.  And while not condoning their actions and beliefs, he had nonetheless learned to understand them as human beings.

Thus, tolerance does not mean to condone, rather to know and understand.  “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”