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“Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  1 Corinthians 9:24 

Like many young people I headed off to college after high school filled with high ideals and illusions of setting the world on fire.  That all went fine until around the middle of my junior year when I suddenly lost my sense of purpose and realized I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  My grades slipped, as did my self-image and self-confidence, and I fell into a deep funk.  Then one day a letter arrived – actually it was only a brief note – that eventually became my salvation.  The letter was from John, a close family friend and father figure.  The shock came in that he was not one to write letters.  But somehow he had sensed I was off track and needed some correction and encouragement.  And while I don’t recall his exact words, the message was essentially this:  I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I do know you’re better than this.

For years the Army had a great little jingle used in its recruiting ads.  “Be all that you can be,” it said.  It’s one of those catchy slogans that carries a powerful message we all need to hear, and hear often, lest we fall short of our potential; when instead, as the Apostle Paul says, we should “Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  And that’s exactly what John was trying to get across to me, “you’re better than this; now go be all that you can be.”

It was Soren Kierkegaard who once said “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” And after considering that little note from all those years ago it has become more and more clear the impact it has had on my life.  The first thing it did was point me in a direction to slowly find my way out of that dark valley I had allowed myself to wander into.  But even more so, in the long run it has influenced me in the executive coaching profession I’m in today, to help others be all they can be.

There is one other point about that letter, though – as I have grown to understand my life backwards.  I’m now convinced that that message actually came from God, and it was John, a Godly man, who had faithfully delivered it.  For I believe it is God’s desire that each of us “Run in such a way as to get the prize,” that we may “be all that we can be.”

(The following is a reprint from five years ago on our fortieth wedding anniversary.  These thoughts and feelings have not changed, except for growing stronger.)   

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’ for she was taken out of man.”  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.  Genesis 2:23-24  

Pretty, petite, funny, fun and adventurous, sometimes a little shy; determined, dedicated and dependable, that’s my best friend; sweet, loving, kind, gentle, soft spoken, and low key . . . except, “when someone messes with my children,” she once said of herself, “then I am the mother lion.”  And that she is as I have witnessed many times through the years, my best friend’s gentle soft spoken nature turning into aggression when she would see her children in danger or under attack and in need of defense, protection or rescue.  Even today off in the shadows but on high alert she continually keeps watch over her children and grandchildren, like a mother lion watching over her cubs ready to defend, protect, or rescue at the first sign of danger.  That’s my best friend.

It was on a blind date arranged by a mutual friend that we first met.  Skeptical at first, we both almost declined the invitation having had rather poor experiences in the past with such arrangements.  “But oh well,” we each thought, “why not try it one more time.”  And when our eyes met for the first time there was an instant connection, like no other either of us had ever experienced.  By the end of our second date we were bonded – for life as it turned out.  We became inseparable best friends, “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”  Together we have raised a family, supported each other through all kinds of trials, laughed a lot, cried a little, suffered through scarce times and rejoiced in prosperous ones, tried things that didn’t work and some that did, shared meals together, traveled, read books and watched movies, worked together, played together, and prayed together – mostly having fun together.  That’s what best friends do.

She’s still the same mother lion to our children and grandchildren, and the same pretty, petite, fun, funny, sweet, loving, kind, gentle person I met on that blind date, a gift from God. Celebrating forty-five wonderful years with my best friend.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  – Jeremiah 29:11 

Once while walking through our neighborhood we encountered a man leaning against a shovel in his front yard.  He appeared exhausted.  As we passed by he stopped us to solicit our advice.  Seems he was planting rose bushes in a large flower bed, several of them already perfectly spaced out – until while digging a hole he encountered a huge immovable rock.  Which is why he stopped us, to see if we had any ideas about what to do with this rock that was getting in the way of his otherwise perfectly laid out plan.

How many times has that happened to you, you come up with what you think is a perfect plan only to unexpectedly encounter a big immovable rock?  That’s when you begin to understand the punch line of the old joke, if you want to make God laugh make plans.

Does that mean we should not make plans?  Absolutely not!  The great general and former President Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, “Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”  In other words, plans hardly ever work out exactly according to plan.  There’s usually some unexpected immovable rock we will encounter.  But planning is critical so that we know where we are headed and what we are trying to accomplish.

Every recent college graduate, indeed anyone seeking or starting a new career should read Daniel Pink’s little book, The Adventures of Johnny Bunko; for as the subtitle suggests it is, The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need.  Cleverly presented in comic-book style this little story teaches six essential principles necessary for anyone seeking fulfillment in life and work: first being (1) “there is no plan”, at least not as we try to lay out plans.  But Johnny Bunko learns from the other five principles that (2) we are each given strengths we should focus on rather than weaknesses; (3) life is not about us but what we do for others; (4) persistence trumps talent; (5) make excellent mistakes; and (6) leave an imprint.  And actually that is the plan, that living by these principles will bring fulfillment in our life and work.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord.  That’s God’s plan too. . . And by the way, our neighbor’s roses are flourishing.

“. . . we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.  And hope does not disappoint us.”  – Romans 5:3-5

Rabbi Harold Kushner in his widely read book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, tells the story about a couple who, in grieving the tragic loss of their teenage daughter, confessed to him that they had neglected to fast during Yom Kipper, as if their failure to observe religious custom had somehow precipitated their daughter’s untimely and unexpected death.  They needed an answer, you see, and having none, blaming themselves seemed to provide a handy explanation.  As it turned out the couple’s otherwise healthy daughter had suffered from the sudden rupture of a blood vessel, something no one would have ever suspected or detected.  Yet, understandably the couple was desperate for an answer, and the answer that was in reach was to blame themselves.

We don’t do well with unanswered questions, do we?  Human nature desires there be logical explanations for everything.  The good news is that most of the knowledge we have today – from scientific discovery to the development and advancement of such disciplines as mathematics, engineering, philosophy, psychology, theology, art, music, and the study of history – is the result of our high sense of intellectual curiosity and desire for explanations. The bad news is that it is also the reason we have such a tendency to place blame when things go awry – blaming others, ourselves, or even God.  Blame too often becomes the default answer when we have no other explanation.

Full knowledge, in spite of our pursuits to attain it, will never become perfect or complete in this lifetime.  Thus we humans will never be free from sufferings that cannot be explained.  But the Apostle Paul invites us to rejoice in our sufferings, “. . . because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us . . .”  For hope is what inspires the human spirit, that in turn motivates the advancement of knowledge, all of which work for the betterment of the human condition and the building up of God’s Kingdom.  Rejoicing in our sufferings still may not explain them, but what it does do is redeem them.

“. . . whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave . . .”  – Matthew 20:26-27 

As a young man Nicolas Herman (1614-1691) had little choice except to join the army, that is if he had any hope of regular meals or collecting even a modest stipend.  Born in eastern France to poor parents and with limited education Herman’s options were few, thus he remained in the army for several years where in fought in the Thirty Years’ War and later served as a valet, until an injury rendered him unfit for military duty.

Following his release Herman entered the Discalced Carmelite Priory in Paris as a lay brother, not having the education necessary to become a cleric.  There he spent the rest of his life within the walls of that priory assigned to working in the kitchen, a lowly position, tending to mundane chores of cooking and cleaning at the constant bidding of his superiors.  Such was the life of Nicolas Herman.

So what’s so great about this Nicolas Herman guy?  And who ever heard of him in the first place?  Few I suspect . . . unless you happen to be familiar with a man better known as Brother Lawrence, the religious name Nicolas Herman took upon entering the priory, where in spite of his lowly status he touched so many lives with his wisdom and spiritual guidance that after his death his letters and conversations were compiled in a book called The Practice of the Presence of God, which for centuries has remained one of the most widely read among Christian books.  Yet Brother Lawrence lived an obscure, simple life, serving God and mankind and expecting no acclaim whatsoever.

We all hope to leave some sort of legacy, don’t we?  But are we willing to do so without some hope of acclaim for our deeds?  “Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in the bucket,” Oswald Chambers challenges, “to be hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served?  Are you willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister?”  Brother Lawrence was, and what a legacy he left!  As Jesus reminds us, “. . . whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave. . .”