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“Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God.  Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”  – Psalm 4:1 

It has long been a tradition in our family that soon after Thanksgiving Day has passed the Christmas movies come out, and always – always! – the first one we watch is my all-time favorite, Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life”.  Why is it though, I sometimes wonder, that through the years we continue to watch this old movie over and over when we practically know the script by heart?  It could be that besides the fact that it is one of the great classic movies of all time with a powerful message, every time I watch it I seem to discover some new tidbit, a little message that had previously gone unnoticed.

So this past cold rainy weekend seemed a perfect time for our annual movie ritual, and once again “It’s a Wonderful Life” was up, and we laughed out loud when one of us recited the lines ahead of the actors.  But something struck me at the end that I had never picked up on before.  When George Bailey returned to the same bridge where he had earlier intended to end his life, this time he instead prayed to God to give him his old life back regardless of the consequences he faced.  Not only did God return him to exactly where he left off (bleeding lip and all), but upon returning home, and much to his surprise, his house overflowed with friends and admirers who had come to his rescue.

The late Dallas Willard, renowned author and philosopher once said, speaking in the context of contrasting success and significance:  “I think the critical difference between success and significance is that success has more to do with outcomes I’m in charge of, while significance has more to do with outcomes I’m not in charge of.  The beautiful thing about significance is that we resign the outcomes to God, and we let a power beyond ourselves take care of them.”

It was that “beautiful thing” of resigning the outcomes to God that I picked up on for the first time; and George Bailey’s prayer on the bridge asking for his old life back reminded me ever so much of that of the Psalmist, “Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer.”  Indeed his prayer was heard, and the outcome in God’s hands.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”  – Genesis 50:20 

Recently Tee accompanied me on a business trip to New York, seizing the opportunity to shop and sightsee while I attended a conference.  Among her many ventures included a visit to “ground zero” and the 9/11 Museum.  In describing what moved her most while touring the museum, she could not help but mention the responders – firefighters, police, medical personnel, and countless ordinary citizens, the goodness of people that emerged in the midst of tragedy. . . .  Ironically, it was later that very day when we received the news about the terrorist attacks in Paris.

Why do bad things happen to good people?  It’s a question as old as mankind itself.  The Bible even dedicates an entire book on the subject, the Book of Job, which – interestingly – many scholars contend may be the first book recorded in Scripture.  Nor is Job the only story of its kind, bad things happening to good people, another being Joseph who was sold into slavery to the Egyptians by his jealous brothers.  And why in recent times were innocent victims killed in Oklahoma City, the World Trade Center towers, Paris, Sudan and Syria to name a few, not to leave out the horrors of the Holocaust?  I don’t know.  Such debates I must defer to the greater minds of theologians and philosophers, except even they have yet to offer sufficient answers that provide comfort for those who experience, or have experienced, the pain and grief of such undeserved suffering.

Even Jesus never gave an answer as to why bad things happen to good people.  What he did say was this:  “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)  So what I do know is what my wife observed at the 9/11 Museum, that when tragedy occurs – regardless if the cause is from acts of human violence or of nature –human goodness is inevitably nearby, like the countless brave souls who responded to the 9/11 attacks.  Those acts of human goodness give us reason to take heart, and a glimpse at how Jesus has overcome the world.  Consider how Joseph responded to his own jealous brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done . . .”  So in these times we must take heart.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13 

Did you know that according to most estimates there are over 7,200,000,000 people living in the world today?  That is 7.2 billion in case the zeros are overwhelming.  Does that ever make you feel like just another rat in the rat race?  You’re not alone if you do.  But the fascinating thing is that within this massive population including all who have ever lived before us and all who are yet to be born each one of us is unique.  There is no one else in the world identical to you or me.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each different, and placed here for a special purpose.

In my particular profession of executive and professional coaching administering psychological assessments to our clients is a fairly common practice.  It is not for the purpose of psychological evaluation that we do this, for most of us are not trained psychologists in the first place; rather it is to increase each client’s awareness of his or her own specific and special talents, behaviors, and characteristics – what it is that makes each one unique.  Once uniqueness is recognized then applied creatively in a person’s business, profession, and personal life both performance and satisfaction tend to increase dramatically.  It is the coach’s job to help make that happen.

The first step, though, is to realize that we are not the result of some sort of human mass production.  We are instead uniquely and individually designed by the One who created our inmost being; the One who specifically knit us together in our mother’s womb.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each different, and placed here for a special purpose.

So as you begin your day today remember that there is no one else in the world just like you.  You are unique – and special.  Then consider how you might creatively apply that uniqueness to your business, profession, and personal life.  I’m willing to bet your performance will increase as well as your satisfaction.

“Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again.” 

– Psalm 71:20 

The young man sat across from me, his face buried in his hands sobbing.  I had just fired him and he was devastated, explaining between sobs how he had never before failed at anything in his life.  Sometime later I approached the young man with an idea, an offer to keep him on but in a demoted position at a much reduced salary.  He jumped at that second chance.  Before long he became a rising star, and eventually a successful professional.  Some years later another young man applied for a position I had available, but the interview did not go well.  Realizing he had blown the interview, the next day he called begging for a second chance.  That second interview landed him the job, and he too eventually grew to become a successful professional.

Lest my arm break from patting myself on the back for my gracious deeds, let me hasten to admit that whatever benevolence I may have offered those two young men is minuscule compared to the number of second chances I have received in my own life, few of which – unlike theirs – were the least bit deserved.  But by the grace of God and the help of many fine people I’ve been blessed with countless second chances.

In Luke chapter 15 Jesus tells a wonderful parable about a young man who after asking for and receiving his inheritance from his father ran away and squandered it all on wild living.  Finally, broke and desperate he decided to return home in the hope that his father might at the very least employ him as a lowly servant.  Instead his father ran out and threw his arms around his son welcoming him home, then had a grand party to celebrate his return – the gracious gift of a second chance.

I’m still convinced to this day that those two guys who crossed my path all those years ago deserved a second chance, as evidenced by the way they responded.  (I’m less sure I’ve been equally as deserving.)  I’m also convinced that God is a God of second chances, whether we deserve it or not; for as the Psalmist says, “Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again” – to be given a second chance.

“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair – every good path.”

• Proverbs 2:9 

There’s an old joke about a big burley lumberjack and notorious bully who entered a bar declaring in his boisterous voice that every man on his right was a wimp and every man on his left was a sissy.  “Hey!” objected one brave patron, “I’m not a wimp,” to which the brawny lumberjack responded by grabbing the poor guy and tossing him to the other side of the room.   “Then get over there with the sissies,” he yelled.

Anyone who has ever served on a jury knows that the duty of jurors is to listen carefully to the testimony, then to thoughtfully deliberate the evidence before reaching a verdict, not jumping to conclusions until both parties have had a fair opportunity to present their arguments.  In real life, though, we too often label others without a fair hearing.  When someone expresses an opinion our tendency is to pigeonhole that person as being of one philosophical, political or religious persuasion or another.

Our reason for laughing at the lumberjack story is the absurdity of his labeling.  The poor guy who challenged the bully was not asking to be reclassified as a sissy instead of a wimp.  He was simply begging for a fair hearing.

Most of the issues of our time are so fraught with complexities that even the most researched conclusions still result in little more than conjecture.  Thus in a complex debate a fair and careful observer may find valid points on both sides of an argument.  That is why debatable issues are opportunities for learning and enrichment if carried out in an environment of civility and decorum, as courtrooms are designed to be.

Conflict is not something to be feared or avoided, nor should it be cause for division – or labeling as with the lumberjack – for we cannot expect everyone to agree on every issue.  Rather, conflict is an opportunity to gain wisdom, to learn and to grow.  When that happens, “Then you will understand what is right and just and fair – every good path.  For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.”