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“Tis the season . . .” my mother-in-law loved to say. It was her way of explaining almost everything that occurs this time of year, particularly family and holiday traditions. “Tis the season” for parties and celebrations, for shopping, making travel plans, decorating, cooking, and preparing for family gatherings. “Tis the season” she would say.

“Tis the season” also to be thankful, and I would like to take this opportunity to express my deep gratitude for a few of the blessings I have received this past year, three in particular. The first is the birth of our beautiful new granddaughter, Corrina. When the year began we had no idea. It was a surprise. And now here she is, the newest member of our family, a happy healthy baby girl. I am thankful that Corrina has come into our lives, for her parents and older sister, Zoey. And I am grateful for our granddaughter Madeline and her parents. “Tis the season” to be thankful for family.

Next I am thankful for our new home in McKinney. Although it is something we have dreamed about and worked toward for a long time, it came as a surprise given the state of the economy and in particular the housing market. We never imagined we would be able to sell our house in this environment enabling us to afford our beautiful new home. For this we are thankful that we have a lovely home and perfect gathering place for our growing family and expanding circle of friends. “Tis the season” to be thankful for home.

Finally, it came as a complete surprise when early one morning, my life flashed before me in a near-fatal incident. Yet, thanks to some angels appearing immediately on the scene, especially my wife Tee, the paramedics, a great team of doctors and nurses, and most importantly the grace of God I survived and have completely recovered. For those who saved my life I am deeply grateful. But equally so I am grateful for the steady stream of friends and loved ones who came by to encourage and support my recovery, not to mention the many well-wishers who called, emailed, and sent cards. It is impossible to express my appreciation appropriately except to say “tis the season” to be thankful for so many wonderful and exceptional relationships.

“Tis the season” to thank all of you for blessing my life in 2011. Thank you! And may all of us in 2012 be filled with extraordinary surprises, a renewed sense of purpose, and deep gratitude for our many blessings. “Tis the season” to express gratitude and best wishes. . . . Abundant Living will return January 2, 2012. In the meantime, Merry Christmas and happy New Year to all. God’s blessings!

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”
– Hebrews 10:24

Rand and Colleen Southard have devoted their lives to disadvantaged children. How? Among other things they run summer camp programs for children with severe learning differences such as dyslexia, autism, Asperger’s syndrome, and ADHD. But for many years they also operated a residential treatment facility for boys with the same learning disorders who had also suffered various kinds of physical and emotional abuse. Most had become wards of the State, some were essentially homeless. What Rand and Colleen provided and continue to provide this particular population of youth – besides basic needs and a positive environment – is goodness and love, the only thing that gives them any hope for a positive future. Their life work has produced some amazing results.

Lanell Armstrong has also devoted her life to disadvantaged children. How? She gave up a quite comfortable ordinary middle class life for an extraordinary one, to live among the poor in a rough gang and drug infested neighborhood of east Dallas. Over the past twenty years she has rescued dozens upon dozens of young boys and teenagers from the gang and drug culture, by befriending them, taking them into her home, tutoring them, loving them and exposing them to God and His goodness. Some still succumb to a lifestyle of gangs and drugs, often times landing in jail or prison. But even then Lanell does not give up on them, and because of that many have returned, some becoming helpers and leaders in her mission. Like Rand and Colleen, what Lanell provides more than anything else is goodness and love, which is the only thing that gives these children any hope for a positive future. Her life work has produced some amazing results.

In witnessing the the good works of Rand and Colleen and Lanell I am at once awed, humbled, and inspired – awed by their goodness, humbled by how little I’ve done in comparison, yet inspired to try to do more. And that’s the point, isn’t it, to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” Thanks be to God for people like Rand, Colleen, and Lanell.

Who makes the best the decisions, those who rely on extensive analysis, or those who follow their instincts? I once had a boss, who only made decisions after studying all the data. He was an analyzer, a thinker. I on the other hand mostly make decisions from the gut. It is not that I ignore data and technical information; in fact I do generally consider it in the process. But when it comes to pulling the trigger, most of my decisions come from instinct. For the longest time I thought my boss, and now a longtime close friend, must be smarter than me because of his analytical ability. Perhaps he is smarter than me, but the fact is he made no more right decisions than me, nor fewer wrong ones than me. We simply had different ways of reaching conclusions.

Most psychological assessments are designed to inform us of our normal behavioral tendencies and our preferences in the way we respond to circumstances. Perhaps most noted among the many valid and exceptional assessments is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI which is sometimes considered the “granddaddy” of them all. The MBTI consists of four pairs of preferences or dichotomies, one preference being the opposite of the other. One of those pairs includes people who have a preference for thinking (T) versus those who have a preference for feeling (F), “thinkers” being the analytical types and “feelers” being more instinctive – neither better than the other nor necessarily requiring greater intelligence than the other. Case in point, my friend and former boss clearly qualifies as a “thinker” while I am by my own admission a “feeler” as the MBTI assessment has affirmed.

In the process of organizing, furnishing, and decorating our new home, it has been fascinating to observe how both preferences have come into play. Although Tee and I are both basically “feelers”, we nevertheless begin by “thinking”, that is developing logical ideas about how we want our home to look and function. But when it comes to pulling the trigger on a decision it is ultimately instinct that makes the final determination.

So who makes the best decisions, “thinkers” or “feelers”? The answer is both. The important thing is to (1) trust your own preference, and (2) give consideration to those whose preference is different than yours. That’s really how the best decisions are made.

About the same time this message hits your inbox I will be sitting on an airplane preparing for takeoff, probably half listening as a flight attendant recites the obligatory instructions about seatbelts, tray tables, the location of the lavatories, and the part about the oxygen masks coming down from above in case of a loss of cabin pressure. That one always intrigues me, especially when they tell us that if we are traveling with a small child to place the mask on ourselves first before placing it on the child. My first impression is that that seems backwards; for isn’t it our instinct to take care of the child first? Yet, when we think about it the logic makes perfect sense, that is by taking care of ourselves first we will be much better equipped to take care of the needs of the child.

During a small group meeting my wife attends each week a friend suggested recently that when we pray we should pray for ourselves first. When she shared that idea with me my first impression was much the same as with the oxygen mask and the child. Should we not focus our prayers first and foremost on the needs of others, I questioned? Yet the logic is the same, that by first taking care of ourselves we will be much better equipped to tend to the needs of others.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, “I can never be all I ought to be, unless you are what you ought to be. You can never be what you ought to be, unless I am all I ought to be.” How do we get to be all we ought to be unless we are generous toward ourselves body, mind, and spirit? We must have something to give before we can offer it to someone else; otherwise we are of little use. How can we expect to provide oxygen to a child if we are gasping for breath; or how can we offer spiritual intercession for another when our own soul is malnourished?

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind,” Jesus commanded, “And . . . Love your neighbor as yourself.” But to love our neighbor as ourselves implies that we must also love ourselves, and in doing so – including being generous in nourishing ourselves – we grow closer to being all we ought to be, which in turn equips us to help others become all they ought to be.

Never doubt the influence little actions can have on others.

My undistinguished military career was anything but influential, except for one obscure, humorous incident. Once while going through basic training, exhausted from a particularly grueling day we had hit the showers early before retiring to our bunks for a few precious hours of sleep. Now, I’ve never been one to sing in the shower, but for some reason that evening I was quietly entertaining myself by humming a little tune when the guy next to me heard it and said, “Hey, man, sing that a little louder.” Next thing I knew he started singing along. Then someone else chimed in, then another. Before long there was a whole chorus of naked boot camp buddies harmonizing in the shower having the time of their lives. After that, they carried on night after night thinking up songs, snapping their fingers, laughing and singing their hearts out. Could they ever sing!

Anyone who has endured the rigors of military training will identify with the importance of developing camaraderie. It’s one of the objectives, I suppose. Those guys who sang in the shower together became great comrades. Although they invited me to participate, I was never really part of that group, not because I wasn’t welcome, I just couldn’t sing like they could.

We never know when the seeds we scatter will sprout into a tree, when some kind act or encouraging word will be a spark that ignites something greater. A pleasant “thank you” to a store clerk, making room for another motorist to move into your lane, a phone call to check up on a friend, a kind word to a fellow passenger on an airplane, a warm smile, or a friendly handshake – little gestures can make a huge difference. In my wildest dreams I would never have imagined that humming to myself in the shower would influence a whole chorus of boot camp comrades.

It just goes to prove . . . never doubt the influence little actions can have on others.