Category Archives: Uncategorized

In 1997, the New York Times reported that Edith and Harry Everett had pledged three million dollars toward the six million dollar cost of renovating New York’s Central Park Zoo.  In exchange, the zoo was to be named the “Everett Children’s Zoo”.  But, said the Times, the couple decided to withdraw their pledge and give the money elsewhere.  The reason, they explained, was that the proposed plaque at the zoo entrance, on which their names would be emblazoned, was too small.  [Source, The Wall Street Journal, Dec. 31, 2004] 

When I first read about the Everett’s I was incensed.  How could they, I thought!  Can you imagine such an attitude of self-righteousness?  Neither can I . . . except that I must be careful casting stones, for I often have the same attitude when I offer up good deeds, that is expecting something in exchange in acknowledgement of my generosity.  Just recently in fact I shared with a clergy friend of mine about my struggles to forgive someone by whom I felt I had been wronged (forgiving being a form of “giving” as the root word suggests).  What bugs me, I explained, is that I want something in return – an apology, or at least an acknowledgement of my kindness.  My clergy friend, after listening for a while, finally spoke up.  “Dan,” he said, “forgiveness is never fair.” 

I think what he meant is that unlike business transactions where something of value is exchanged for something considered to be of equal value, benevolence offers something of value with no expectation of anything in return.  In other words it is not a zero sum transaction as in a business exchange. But there is one other important factor.  True benevolence requires the giver to relinquish any pride in the giving, which makes it seem doubly unfair, doesn’t it? 

That, unfortunately, was the Everett’s failure in withdrawing their pledge, as well as mine in my unwillingness to forgive, the result being that we both turned an “unfair” transaction into one that is a total loss for all concerned, the children of New York being denied a better zoo, and my transgressor and I a potentially restored relationship.  Is that fair?  Of course not!  In my own case at least I pray I will change that.

“I have a dream . . .”   For the majority of us those are the words most often associated with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  We remember them not only because of Dr. King’s  often quoted famous speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in August of 1963, but it was in the context of that passionate address that he defined his life’s mission and purpose, summarizing all his courageous acts, brilliant writings and inspiring speeches.  Arguably, and as some scholars have claimed, it may have been the greatest speech of the twentieth century.  But one thing is for sure, by the time he stepped down from the podium that day not only did the world understand Dr. King’s dream, more importantly he inspired others – and millions of others continue to be inspired – to share in it. 

Like Moses, though, who never made it to the promise land Dr. King’s own life was tragically cut short before he could experience the fulfillment of his dream.  But even if he were still living today would it be so?  The honest answer must be that we are still far from the peaceful, civil, racially equal society of his dream.  Progress has been made, though, and hopefully Dr. King would be pleased with that.  His was a big dream after all, and big dreams take years, sometimes even generations to fulfill. 

Ebby Halliday, founder and leader of one of the largest and most prominent real estate firms in Dallas, Texas and one of the great legendary business icons of our community will soon be celebrating her hundredth birthday according to yesterday’s Dallas Morning News.  Ebby, who has been a powerful influence in the growth and development of this city, expressed in a recent interview about her dream for the restoration of the downtown business district.  At her age it is unlikely she we live to see that fulfilled, but that does not lessen her passion for that dream and her inspiration of others to share in it. 

I have dreams too, and so do you.  While our dreams may seem small in comparison to Ebby Halliday’s and Dr. King’s in terms of their influence on society and the world, they are no less important for us to pursue with the same passion.  But like them hopefully we dream big enough dreams that will continue to be pursued beyond our lifetimes, for our greatest legacy will be less about our accomplishments than of how we inspire the next generation?  That’s what Dr. King did – and why we honor him on this day. 

A few years ago we were invited to a dinner party in the home of some friends who were hosting two couples from the country of Tanzania in Africa.  They were as I recall spending several weeks in the United States visiting friends and acquaintances in various parts of the country.  During the course of the evening one of the African gentlemen asked me why it is that Americans eat so much.  The question startled me, not for its lack of validity, rather because it represented in a sense what other cultures might be observing about our own. 

No doubt controlling our weight is a common struggle among many of us in our American society today.  Just consider the multi-billion dollar industries which have evolved because of it from exercise equipment, gym memberships and weight loss programs people pay to join, to extreme kinds of surgeries to control excessive food consumption.  But what startled me most about the man’s question was the realization that we have indeed become a society of extreme excess – not just in terms of overindulgence of food, but in other areas of our lives as well – the realization of which only an outside observer could have raised my awareness.  So startled was I in fact that I found myself unable to answer the man’s question, simply shrugging it off as if I didn’t know.  But inside I was thinking to myself, “Ouch!” 

“The fullness of a cup equals that of the sea,” says author and poet Wendell Berry in one of his untitled poems, “unless the mind conceive of more . . . gluttonous beyond hunger, greedy for money in excess of goods. . . . And so the mind grows a big belly, a sack full of the thought of more, and the whole structure of enough, of life itself, which is never more or less than enough, falls in pieces.” 

The only true remedy, as I see it, for controlling the mind from conceiving of excess, “gluttonous beyond hunger, greedy for money in excess of goods”, is gratitude.  Only in gratitude do our minds become conscious of enough and satisfied that enough is enough.  Then we are able to focus our energies in better ways, enabling others in need to have enough as well.

Donald Miller in his book Blue Like Jazz tells a story about once-upon-a-time attending a political protest rally with a friend he calls Andrew the Protestor, so named because he was always protesting something – anything, so it seemed.  “When we were done [protesting],” Miller reflects, “I started wondering if we had accomplished anything.  I started wondering whether we could actually change the world.  I mean, of course we could – we could change our buying habits, elect socially conscious representatives and that sort of thing, but I honestly don’t believe we will be solving the greater human conflict with our efforts.  The problem is not a certain type of legislation or even a certain politician; the problem is the same that it has always been. . . . I am the problem.” 

“I think every conscious person,” Miller goes on, “every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. . . . The problem is not out there; the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives in my chest.” 

So here’s my New Year’s question for you – and for me.  What would you like to be different in 2011?  And I’m not talking about world peace, the politicians you may not like, or a cure for cancer.  Neither am I referring to that pain-in-the-behind boss, coworker or neighbor we all wish would behave differently.  Rather, what would you like to be different that is within your power to directly change or influence?  

Donald Miller is right, you know.  Every person needs to take a moment now and then where he stops blaming the problems of the world on others and starts to face himself; for it is in that moment when things begin to change, first within ourselves and eventually touching those around us – sometimes impacting people we don’t even realize.   I am the problem, you see, but I can also be the solution – if I choose to be. 

So what would you like to be different in 2011?  And what’s the first step you need to take to make that happen?

At the University of the South there was once a legendary sports trainer who served the school’s football team for over forty years.  At his retirement he was asked what he considered to be the team’s best season.  “The team’s best season,” he replied, “is the one coming up.” 

During the years of raising our children I would often seek my mother’s wise counsel when difficult parenting issues arose regarding one or the other of our two sons.  After listening to me for a while she would always tell me the same thing.  “Ah, he’s going to turn out fine.  He’s a good boy.”  She was right, of course; for today they are both fine responsible men with families of their own.  But how did she know? 

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” retells the biblical story about Joseph who because of the favoritism shown to him by their father was betrayed by his jealous brothers, only to rise up and become a powerful figure in the Egyptian kingdom who would one day rescue those same brothers from starvation.  The brothers, as you can imagine, later feared retribution from their deceived younger brother, except he said this to them:  “Don’t be afraid. . . .You meant to harm me, but God intended it for good.” 

The legendary sports trainer was not necessarily predicting a winning season when he said “the team’s best season is the one coming up”.  Nor was my mother’s remark, “ah, he’s going to turn out fine” meant to condone our children’s misbehavior or our parenting mistakes.  Rather, both recognized, as Joseph did, that “God intended it for good” – that God can make good of anything; for indeed God does make good of EVERYTHING.  God is good, as they say, all the time.    

For that reason I’m certain that your best season ever is “the one coming up.”  How do I know that?  Because God intends it for good.  My prayer for you is, may it be so.

Abundant Living will return January 3, 2011.  Merry Christmas, and blessings to all!!