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When Tee and I were newlyweds there were two dear old family friends by the name of John and Vivian Heim who helped us get our start in life. We were both seniors in college at the time and it was John and Vivian who introduced us to the right people who provided us with good jobs that sustained us through those early days. But we were not the only young couple who were recipients of their benevolence. There were others – probably many I’m not even aware of. Among them were my older brother and his wife who John and Vivian also helped through their first year or so of marriage.John Heim was a man who had risen through the ranks of the Texas Highway Department where he had become a highly respected executive. When he finally retired I had the privilege of attending his retirement party. It was during that celebration that he was presented with the customary gold watch and was then asked to say something about his distinguished career. I’ll never forget his first words: “I’ve always had a rule of life,” he began. . . .

. . . . Now this may seem odd, but beyond those words I don’t recall another single thing he said. In particular I don’t have a clue what he said about his “rule of life”. What I do remember vividly, though, is that he had one, and that has made a lifelong impression on me. So what is a rule of life anyway? For years I have reflected on that. What it seems to mean is to live one’s life according to a certain creed, with a sense of purpose, and by a defined code of conduct. It is that rule of life that gets us up in the morning and sends us out each day on a mission. It defines who we are and gives significance to our lives. Without a rule of life we simply react. With it, though, we become motivated. We have clarity as to why we were put upon this earth.

Sometimes I’m still curious about John Heim’s rule of life, whatever it was he said that failed to make it from my ears into my memory. I suspect, though, it had something to do with helping others, as he did with us as well as many other young couples who were getting started in life. But then, I’ll never know for sure. What I do know is that he had a “rule of life”, a creed he lived by – and that inspired me that I should have one too.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

– Hebrews 11:1 

Every single morning around 5::00 a.m. without fail our beloved pooch, Cowgirl, gets up from her doggy bed, stretches and shakes, then with a loud whiney yawn she puts her front paws up on my side of the bed and begins nudging me with her nose.  It’s as if to say, “We’re burning daylight, time to get up!”  Cowgirl, you see, is a living testimony of the definition of faith.  She is sure of what she hopes for – that is, our early morning three mile jog – and certain of what she does not yet see – that is, some sort of excitement out there, another dog, a stray cat, or a squirrel darting across the street. 

You know the feeling.  Remember when you were a child and your birthday was approaching, how you would be excited and anxious at the same time?  You were sure there would be a birthday cake and some other special treats, but you were also certain there would be surprises.  Faith is like that, sort of a combination of assurance and anticipation, a conviction based on past experience and an expectation there will be even more to come.  Cowgirl wakes up every morning with that assurance we’ll go for a jog because it’s part of our routine, her past experience, but also with the anticipation that there will be surprises along the way.  It doesn’t always happen that way, of course, but what a great way to live! 

Faith is often too narrowly defined within the context of religious belief.  But it is much more than that.  Faith, rather, is a response to God, an affirmation of the amazing abundance provided through His creation.  It is about seeking and discovering knowledge, value, and inspiration from our experiences.  It is responding to God by accepting his invitation to participate in the process, to be creators ourselves and offering our creations as gifts back to Him.  

Simply put, faith is about being sure and certain, but with room left over for surprises.  That’s the way dogs and little children understand it anyway, and I think they’ve got it right.  What a great way to live!

Patrick was once a classmate of mine when we were both enrolled in a three year business, career, and life coaching program.  Like all of us in the class Patrick, a trial lawyer, would probably describe himself as a mid-life hard-charging, success-driven, type-A personality.  It was the reason we were getting coached, to learn how to channel our energies toward less self-centered activities, to “giving back” if you will.  So along those lines one day we were given an interesting assignment.  We were to arrange a quiet romantic dinner with our wives during which we were to ask this question:  “If I could do anything in the world to make your dreams come true, what would that be?”  Talk about making ourselves vulnerable!  Whoa!  Of course, that was the point of the exercise. 

When we reported back the following month it was Patrick who had the best story.  Picture the scene.  Patrick has asked his wife about her dreams, so here he is standing at the plate bracing for a fast inside curve ball – bigger house, fancier car, trip to Europe – and he’s prepared to swing for the fence.  Not what happened!  Instead, she lobbed a pitch so slow and easy that Patrick was stunned, standing there slack-jawed and dropping his bat as the ball landed softly in the catcher’s mitt while the umpire called out “stee-rike!”  Here’s what she said, “Do you know what I really want, dear?  I just wish you would help me make up the bed in the morning.  That would make my dreams come true.”   

By his own admission Patrick had been so focused on the BIG things – being the BIG man, winning the BIG trial, making the BIG bucks, hitting the homerun – that he failed to see what was really important.  Just two extra minutes of his time before he went running out the door, to help make the bed, that’s all his wife really wanted. 

Patrick’s wife delivered her pitch right in the middle of the strike zone, didn’t she?  Too often we think it’s the big things in life that make our dreams come true – the BIG jobs, the BIG careers, the BIG sales, the BIG promotions, the BIG houses, the BIG bucks.  Or we think it’s the BIG crises in the world, the BIG news headlines, the BIG economic issues that are causing our own BIG problems.  But she reminded us otherwise, that maybe our dreams really come true when we pay attention to the little things, two minutes here, a kind word there, a listening ear, or a helping hand. . . . Now I’m not going to speculate that helping make up the bed in the morning is exactly what makes my own wife’s dreams come true, but since that day I’ve never failed to do so.  It’s a little thing, but maybe it’s a step in the right direction.

Possibilities exist all around us almost all the time.  Problem is too often we do not recognize them because they are not what we expect them to be.  It is not that we are not open to possibilities; rather it is that we are not open to the unexpected.  Julia Cameron in her book, The Artist Way, describes it this way:  “We tend to believe we must go out and shake a few trees to make things happen.  I would not deny that shaking a few trees is good for us.  In fact, I believe it is necessary.  I call it ‘doing the footwork’.  I want to say, however, that while the footwork is necessary, I have seldom seen it pay off in a linear fashion.  It seems to work more like we shake the apple tree and the universe delivers oranges.”

Has that ever happened to you?  Thirty years ago it happened to me.  At the time I had a blossoming career at a large regional bank.  But I had become restless, wanting to grow faster than I was.  So, I began to quietly shake a few trees to see if there was something different I could do with the experience I had gained.  Then one day it was announced that our banking company had been sold to another entity.  The very next day I received five phone calls inviting me to interview, but they were not interviews I had expected – not from the trees I had been shaking.  I had been shaking the apple tree you see, but the universe delivered oranges, what turned out to be quite lucrative career opportunities.

Possibilities do indeed exist all around us, but in order to recognize them we must expect the unexpected to occur.  Especially in these tough economic times it is a good thing for us to remember, to keep shaking the apple tree.  If we do sooner or later the universe will deliver – but don’t be surprised if its oranges instead of apples.

Money will come when you are doing the right thing.

– Mike Phillips 

Two business partners were discussing their goals for the next year.  “Let’s try to make more money,” said the first one, to which the other responded, “Why don’t we instead try to serve more customers?” 

In the preface to his classic book, Man’s Search for Meaning, renowned psychiatrist, author, and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl wrote:  “Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it.  For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. . . I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge.  Then you will live to see that in the long run – in the long run, I say! – success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.” 

The bedrock of our financial system and the hope for the future of our prosperity resides in our capacity to create and provide value to other human beings.  Work, in other words, must be first and foremost about creating value rather than making money.  Money is only a byproduct, a means of exchange, a way of measuring value.  That should be resounding good news for all of us during these troubled economic times that each of us has the capacity to contribute to its recovery by simply doing the right thing – by creating value for someone else.  Then we will live to see that in the long run money and success will follow. 

Besides, ultimately the abundance we realize in our lives will be the result of the value we create, not the money we make or the things we accumulate.  We can all learn from the wise business partner who asked, “Why don’t we instead try to serve more customers?”  For he knew the answer that . . . “Money will come when you are doing the right thing.”