“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:3
Even though it has been almost forty years ago, what I did still haunts me. I was a young rising-star business executive back then, and pretty “hot stuff” so I thought. One day on my way home from work I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few items, but just as I approached a certain checkout lane the clerk closed it, as it was either break time for her, much deserved I’m sure, or the end of her shift. But I was in a rush, not to mention feeling self-important, so I proceeded to berate her for inconveniencing me, and even though I saw the hurt in her expression and tears form in the corners of her eyes, not once did I offer even the slightest apology. And that incident has haunted me ever since.
I would like to say that is the worst thing I’ve ever done, but sadly I’m afraid I have offended far more people in far worse ways than that. Yet, why that one instance has lingered in my conscience I’m not sure, except it has been a gift in a way, perhaps because the shame and guilt of it has helped mold me, hopefully into a better person.
These chaotic times we are living in seem to foster quick tempers. We see it globally from the military conflicts raging in various parts of the world, to the political polarization in our own country from national to state to local, all the way down to our personal encounters with others in the ways people cut one another off in traffic, for example, to anger over political signs our neighbors place in their yards, all of which too often turns into violence against one another. No wonder people get angry, myself included.
And that, I think, is where that haunting memory of my rude behavior in the supermarket all those years ago has become a gift, by reminding me when someone cuts me off in traffic, treats me or someone else poorly, has radically different political views, or worse, high profile people like politicians and entertainers getting involved in scandals, that yes I too have a history of bad behavior. I even catch myself at times using other’s misdeeds as an excuse for letting myself off the hook from my own. So, that makes Jesus’ question a convicting one, doesn’t it? “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”