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“But the greatest of these is love.”  – 1 Corinthians 13:13 

On our first (blind) date Tee made a point of letting me know, with some intention I think, that she was born on Valentines Day, sort of cute I thought, except it came across more like, “Look Buster, if you have any designs on pursuing a more serious relationship, you better darn well remember that my birthday falls on the day of love!”  I’m joking, of course, although I have never forgotten it.  Looking back now over our many years of marriage and raising a family, it seems that moment may have been intended more as prophecy than humor, for everything about our life together — marriage, children, faith, friendships – has been centered on one thing, love. It’s simply in our DNA.

Several years ago I got involved with a non-profit organization that was operating a residential treatment center (RTC) for special needs children with learning differences who were placed there through state agencies like Child Protective Services; children off the street mostly, many of them homeless, abused, or abandoned.  For most of those children it was the first time in their lives they had ever experienced any sort of stability in terms of a safe and caring environment, a warm bed, hot shower and three nutritious meals a day.

Our friends Rand and Colleen Southard, founders of that organization, once told the story about a little boy who during his first meal at the facility was seen stuffing mashed potatoes in his pocket.  What they discovered was that he had been so food-insecure that it was the only way he knew for sure that he would have food to eat the next day, and that is just one of hundreds of heartbreaking stories they had witnessed over the years.  But most tragic of all, as Rand and Colleen had so keenly observed, is that none of the children had ever been loved, nor even had a concept of love.  And that is the gap Rand and Colleen filled, those children experiencing love for the first time in their lives.

Lack of food, shelter and safety I think I can understand, but the absence of love I can’t imagine, nor has there been a time in my entire life when I have not been surrounded by it.  And that was the message my then wife-to-be was prophesying on our first date regarding her Valentines Day birthday, that all these things are important – food, shelter, safety, and all the comforts of life – “But the greatest of these is love.”  And indeed it is!

“Streams of living water will flow from within him. . .”  – John 7:38 

Having worked as a leadership coach over the past twenty years I find myself almost unconsciously observing leadership qualities in other people, much like a golfer might observe others’ golf swings.  So, when we attended a dinner recently honoring the high school cheerleading squad where our granddaughter Zoey, now a senior, has participated all four years of her high school career, the last two as captain of the cheer team, it was only natural for me to pay particular attention to her leadership qualities.

Two qualities I observed from across the room at that ceremony the other night, although admittedly from a very biased perspective.  One was how engaging she was with everyone around, teachers, coaches, parents, fellow cheerleaders, and schoolmates.  That type of outgoing personality is a gift from God.  The other occurred when she sprang from her seat impromptu to offer an eloquent tribute to the cheer coach on behalf of the entire cheerleading squad, a reversal of roles in a way, cheering the cheer coach instead of the other way around.  It was an extraordinary demonstration of leadership.

But then, that is what Zoey does.  Cheerleading is sort of a metaphor for her life; for she’s not just a cheerleader for the football team on Friday night, she’s a cheerleader for people, even me, her grandpa.  Like the time I confided that I had decided to invest in hearing aids so she didn’t have to repeat herself all the time.  We were standing in line at a Starbucks and she spontaneously started cheering like I had just made a touchdown.

Everybody we meet in this world is either a fountain or a drain, someone once said.  I suppose in reality most of us are a little of both, depending on the kind of day we’re having.  But my granddaughter Zoey is a fountain – at least most days from what I have observed – a quality that comes from deep within her soul, a gift from God.

“If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink,” Jesus said, “[and] streams of living water will flow from within him.”  So, I have to ask myself the question every day, am I going to be a fountain or a drain?  How blessed I am to have a granddaughter who sets the example, and serves as my cheerleader!

“Pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”  – Ecclesiastes 4:10 

“When I was younger, so much younger than today / I never needed anybody’s help in any way / But now these days are gone, I’m not so self-assured / Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.”  That great Beatles hit Help! was going through my mind recently, as many of the Beatles’ classic songs sometimes do, except this time something struck me as the lyrics rolled through my head that “Yikes!” this song is the story of my life.  Maybe it is the story of many of our lives.

To personalize the Beatle’s lyrics a bit, when I left for college many years ago I walked into my dorm room with two pieces of equipment, a new Smith-Corona electric typewriter courtesy of my parents, and a portable stereo that played LP record albums courtesy of my own savings account, high-tech equipment back in those days.  Add to that pen and paper and textbooks, that is all I would need to prepare to conquer the world, and I was capable of doing it all without “anybody’s help in any way.”

“But now these days are gone, I’m not so self-assured.”  Recently, I had to buy a new laptop as mine had become slow, unreliable, and obsolete as far as Microsoft’s support system was concerned.  So, even though the computer salesman assured me that all my data would transfer seamlessly to the new computer, and that everything would work just the same, when I got home I could neither locate most of my files, nor did the “newly updated” software work the same.  “Help!” I cried out as I rushed back into the store – more than once.  “Won’t you please, please help me?” I begged, practically on my knees.

“Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the doors.”  One of the greatest benefits of aging is the humility it brings with it – from believing I can single-handedly conquer the world at age eighteen to the reality in old age that I need help with the TV remote, using my smartphone to make a dinner reservation, a doctor’s appointment, or buy a movie ticket.  Thanks to the kind, patient gentleman at the computer store who “helped me get my feet back on the ground” with my new computer, and to all the many other helpers out there. . . Help!  Oh, how that great Beatles hit tells the story of my life!

“But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

“For none of us lives to himself alone . . .”  – Romans 14:7 

A friend of mine was once asked to serve on a non-profit board during the period of a critical capital project in which his financial and leadership expertise and experience were especially valuable.  My friend agreed, but halfway through the first board meeting the two top leaders of the organization excused themselves and left, assuming they had nothing else to contribute toward the particular topic being discussed that evening.  The following morning my friend paid an unannounced visit to those two executives to gently explain that regardless whether they were contributing to the conversation, excusing themselves from that meeting left a negative impression on the rest of the board, a feeling that the project was not all that important after all.  Ouch, I thought when some months later I heard that story!  How many times have I done the same thing?

“No man is an island,” John Donne famously said centuries ago, and there is nothing like an isolating Texas ice storm to remind me of that great truth; for even though my wife and are blessed with the companionship of each other, such things as games, movies, books, jigsaw puzzles, hot chocolate and popcorn only go so far when housebound.  Sooner or later we need fellow human beings, not just for the functional services they provide, but more importantly for their presence and influence in our lives.

“Strange, isn’t it?” the angel Clarence proclaimed to George Bailey in It’s a Wonderful Life, “Each man’s life touches so many other lives.  When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”  We all need that reminder from time to time that every action we take – or fail to take – good or bad, impacts someone else, as does our presence – or our absence – for “no man is an island.”

My friend did not show up that day to scold those two non-profit leaders for leaving their post, rather he came as their angel to impress upon them that their actions and presence matter.  And I believe I must have eventually become privy to that story for the same reason – some guardian angel thought I needed reminding too.  “For none of us lives to himself alone.”

“Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought . . .” – Romans 12:3 

For most of his adult life my dad owned and operated a small town Coca-Cola bottling operation.  This was back in the days when such operations were the primary means by which soft drinks were produced and distributed, and most notably when soft drink beverages were sold in six-ounce returnable bottles made of thick glass (relics that are now collectors’ items) that were filled through an assembly line process that began by feeding the returned empty bottles into a “soaker” machine where they were cleaned and sterilized before being refilled, capped, and repackaged into wooden cases for distribution.  That was the process in a nutshell.

My dad took his business seriously enough and ran a tight ship, except he had a penchant for mischief from time to time.  On one occasion he had come out of his office to check on the production line when he noticed a firecracker in one of the wooden crates.  (It was not uncommon for returned bottles and crates to be stuffed with trash such as used tissues and cigarette butts.)  It so happened that when he spied that firecracker he happened to be standing behind Ida Mae, one of the production line workers – and no stranger to pulling pranks on others, including my dad – so he quickly took advantage of a payback opportunity by lighting the firecracker and tossing toward Ida Mae’s feet.  You can imagine how high she must have jumped when it went off!  But by that time Daddy had slipped back into his office and was sitting at his desk doubled over laughing, while the profanity that spewed from Ida Mae got directed at some poor innocent bystander.

Make no mistake, my dad was the boss and everyone knew and respected that, including me during the several summers I worked at the plant.  But he tried to use his authority appropriately, to direct, and correct when necessary, and on rare occasions to fire when someone stepped too far over the line.  He also used his authority in ways to encourage and promote others, and to genuinely show concern for them.  Mostly my dad’s attitude toward his employees was the same he had toward his family and friends, that we are all human beings going through life together, that we should strive to “live in harmony with one another,” as the Apostle Paul said, “rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn,” and ultimately “do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,” and that sometimes even an appropriately timed friendly prank can promote harmony.