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“. . . whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant . . .”

• Matthew 20:26

Thanksgiving day I found myself slaving over the sink in my son’s kitchen for most of the morning washing pots and pans, the job to which I had been relegated, while he was preparing the turkey to be roasted and blending together the ingredients for our family’s traditional cornbread dressing (or stuffing as some prefer to call it).  For years that had been my job, but now my sons have taken it over.  And as much as I love doing it, it delights me to see them jump in and take the lead.

Preparing a Thanksgiving feast in our family is not something that can be accomplished by simply following instructions from a written recipe; rather it must be learned through an apprenticeship with a master.  That’s the way my father had learned, by serving as an apprentice to his mother, the master.  In due time my brother and I learned by working side by side with our dad.   Eventually when my own sons came of age they in turn apprenticed under me.  Now they are the masters, and the family turkey and dressing tradition carries on.  Hopefully one day they will pass it along to their children.

The late French President Charles de Gaulle once said, “Our graveyards are full of indispensable men.”  What he meant by that according to Russ Crosson in his book, What Makes a Leader Great, is that “he was talking about men and women who falsely believe they could not be replaced; therefore, there was no forethought about the next generation.”  That is, in fact, the premise of Crosson’s book that what makes great leaders truly great is to “lead in order to replace” themselves,” not so they become irreplaceable.

“Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,” and great leaders serve by preparing others to take their place.  That’s how their good works are carried on, while the indispensable eventually wind up buried in the graveyard.  So being relegated to washing pots and pans Thanksgiving morning was no chore for me; for it delights me to see my sons jump in and take the lead.  That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

• Hebrews 11:1 

About the rugged pioneers who settled the rural West Texas county where I grew up, historian Carmen Taylor Bennett once wrote, “This is not a story of weak-willed people, but necessarily one of men with steel in their veins . . . They were in big part a people who had left the security of friends and relations behind; had loaded scant household goods on sorry wagons and behind poor teams made their long journey west.  And at night as they sat by their small smoking camp fires, fed by cow and buffalo chips, there burned in their hearts a brighter flame of hope and the prayer that the dim trails they followed led to a home of their own and a better way of life for them and for the ones they loved.”

What courageous risk-takers those pioneers must have been!  Yet more than risk-takers they were people of faith; for by its very definition on the other side of risk there must be an element of faith.  Or as author Philip Yancey says, “Faith means striking out, with no clear end in sight and perhaps even no clear view of the next step.  It means following, trusting, and holding out a hand to an invisible Guide.”  In other words, “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” 

We live in an uncertain and insecure world, no matter how hard we may try to make it otherwise.  Regardless how hard we work, how much we save, how well we maintain our health – all commendable things – sooner or later jobs are lost, financial markets collapse, we become ill.  We can and should do all we can to prepare for such events, but we cannot prevent them.

So it is that we are wise to return to the spirit of our rugged pioneer ancestors who forged through life with no illusion of security or certainty; rather they were guided by a sense of faith – faith in themselves, faith in one another, faith in God – and the “prayer that the dim trails they followed led to a home of their own and a better way of life for them and for the ones they loved.”  Let us give thanks for the legacy of their faith and courage.

“So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.” 

– Psalm 90:12 

Each year when I celebrate my birthday, which I recently did, and especially as I advance further into senior citizenship I cannot help but be reminded of the brevity of life, and that I must try to use the time I have left more wisely in ways that will bear lasting fruit.  How can I make a difference, and in what ways can I have a positive influence?  What steps should I be taking toward those purposes?  Thus age, thankfully, does teach us to number our days, and with an increasing sense of urgency to apply our hearts to wisdom.

By the time I had become friends with Froggy, as we all called him, it was evident that he had become aware that his days were numbered by his sense of urgency to apply his heart to wisdom.  Froggy was a Vietnam veteran having served as a helicopter pilot.  So horrific were his war experiences that he suffered PTSD the rest of his life.  Froggy also, by his own admission, had been a pretty notorious partier for a good part of his life.  Thus, by the time I got to know him his hard living coupled with the PTSD were taking a toll on his health.  It was during that time of his life I had the opportunity spend lots of hours in conversation with him sitting in Starbucks sipping coffee.  There I learned about his yearning to make a difference and be a positive influence, to bear lasting fruit.

We both had become involved in a community outreach program, and on one particular occasion he and I made a call together on a man who had fallen on hard times to see if we could help with his utility bills.  As we sat there in the man’s tiny living room listening to his sad story I happened to look over at Froggy and noticed tears filling his eyes and the chin of his ruddy face starting to quiver.  Suddenly and spontaneously Froggy’s old gruff voice broke into prayer for the poor gentleman we were visiting.  So moved was the man by Froggy’s prayer and compassion that he too began to weep, as did I.  Froggy’s days ran out not long after that, but I think about him often and how aware he’d become of his numbered days.  It had been my great privilege to be his friend in those final years and to witness the increase of his wisdom and the fruit he bore.  Well done Froggy!

“And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”

• 1 Corinthians 13:13 

Love, I have no doubt is the strongest force in the universe. Likewise I’m equally convinced that the most dangerous force in the universe is the absence of love.  Since my belief is not based on scientific proof I suspect a brilliant nuclear scientist who understands protons and neutrons might argue otherwise – a debate I’d rather not engage in by the way.  But I know I’m right as surely as I know I am breathing air this very moment; for you see I don’t know much about nuclear science, but I’ve lived long enough that I’ve learned a great deal about love and its power.

My friends Rand and Colleen Southard for many years operated a residential treatment facility for severely abused boys. Most of these children, ages seven to seventeen, came from the streets of our cities, homeless, mal-nourished, mothers who were drug addicted and fathers who were absent.  These children arrived at the facility frightened and often times violent.  It was not unusual when they were fed their first meal – perhaps their first balanced, nutritious meal ever – they would stuff mashed potatoes in their pockets for fear of not being fed again.  But for all the physical deprivation in their young lives – food, shelter, etc. – Rand and Colleen pointed out over and over that the most devastating impact on them had been the absence of love.  They literally had no concept of love, neither receiving nor giving.  Unfortunately our prison systems are populated with people who like these boys have no concept of love either; and the same holds true for street gangs.  It is the most dangerous force in the universe.

During those years Rand and Colleen operated that facility they provided a safe environment, food, shelter, and education to those children. But their most powerful influence was in displacing the absence of love with the presence of it.  Love is divine, the very essence of our Creator, and that is how I know it is the strongest force in the universe.  For as “faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.”

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

• Ecclesiastes 3:1 

Sandy, my former work colleague and old friend, back when we were working together had always longed to have a swimming pool in her backyard, so eventually she and her husband saved up enough money to put one in. Of all the people I’ve ever known who have had backyard pools, including us, I’ve never known anyone who enjoyed theirs more or made better use of it than Sandy and her husband.  Every weekend of the summer they were either enjoying quiet afternoons alone, or watching their kids play in the water, or entertaining friends and neighbors in their backyard.  During the warm months of the year their lives centered around that pool.  Then one day Sandy informed me that they were filling it in, covering it up.  I was shocked at first, until she explained that the fun was over; they were done with it and ready to move on to other things.

The swimming pool story is so typical of the way Sandy operated when we worked together. When it came time to make changes, to do things differently such as introducing some type of new more efficient technology Sandy was always the one who would walk in one day and announce to all of us that from now on we’re doing it the new way – period!  I loved that about her.  She taught me better than anyone I know to realize that for everything there is a season, to enjoy the season while it lasts, understand it had a purpose, then let it go and move on.

My parents lived in the same house from the time I was two years old until several years after I was married with children of my own. My father and grandfather operated the same family business for sixty years.  In the community where I grew up there were certain people in my life who could always be counted on to “be there”.  There was a comfort in having that kind of stability, but then things changed.  My parents moved, the family business was sold, and some of those wonderful people began to die.  Through the years I’ve come to realize those changes and losses did not destroy my world, instead they enriched it; for “to everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” So when it’s time to cover up the pool be thankful for the season and move on.