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“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

• Proverbs 19:21

Put first things first. That’s how Stephen Covey describes Habit number 3 in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  In other words, highly effective people are those who identify what is most important and make it top priority, above everything else.  They focus on opportunities rather than problems, centered on their mission rather than being seduced by outside forces.  “The key,” as Covey puts it, “is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”

In my former career I was responsible for a bond trading unit for a major Wall Street investment firm. On any given day it was a beehive of activity, phones ringing constantly, squawk boxes blaring, people shouting across the room, a chaotic atmosphere, a perpetual fire drill.  There was an urgency about everything we did; the ringing phones demanded our immediate attention, impatient investors who needed someone to help them “right now!” Yet in the heat of battle decisions had to be made, often times big decisions involving substantial sums of money.  It was those big decisions that were of utmost importance; for from them our profitability was derived, our life blood, our reason for being, the purpose of our existence, our mission.  If we were not careful, though, the urgency of the ringing phones and blaring squawk boxes could become seductive, distracting us from the importance of the big decisions that had to be made.  In other words, we had to manage in the midst of that perpetual fire drill to put first things first.

In a sense, the experience of working on a bond trading desk imitated real life in that in real life we constantly encounter urgent demands on our time and energy, problems to be solved, projects to complete, impatient people who need us “right now!” And it is not as if we can or should ignore those urgent demands, for indeed they must be responded to.  But neither can we allow these urgencies to distract us from what is most important, our reason for being, the purpose of our existence, our life mission.  We must as Covey reminds us in Habit 3 put first things first.  Bottom line the Proverb sums it up this way: “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

“Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” – Luke 12:15 

The late jazz trumpeter Miles Davis was once asked what he thinks about before he plays, to which he replied, “what to leave out”. Jazz, as you probably know, is a style of music created mostly by improvisation, at which Miles Davis whose head was filled with infinite creative possibilities was an absolute master.  His greatest genius, however, was not in the accumulation of music that existed in his head; rather it was in his ability to deliver the best authentic musical expression to his audience, which he accomplished by figuring out “what to leave out”.

“De-accumulate!” is the term Richard Foster uses in his classic book Celebration of Discipline.  “Masses of things that are not needed complicate life,” he explains.  “They must be sorted and stored and dusted and re-sorted and re-stored ad nauseam. Most of us could get rid of half of our possessions without any serious sacrifice.”

Too many of us I’m afraid have come to believe that our value in the world is determined by what we accumulate – money, possessions, successes, education level, and so forth. While these may indeed be commendable, if we are not careful they can become a disguise for who we were uniquely made to be, covering up who we really are, and in doing so deprive the world of the best authentic expression of ourselves.  It’s like the early days of my corporate career when I would work long hours with the excuse I was providing for my family, only to be reminded by my wife that my family needed my presence much more than the money.  In other words, I was actually doing more depriving than providing.  The remedy, of course, was to figure out what to leave out.

Miles Davis became a legendary jazz trumpeter in no small part due to his ability to figure out what to leave out – what was not necessary. He understood as does Richard Foster that “masses of things that are not needed [only] complicate life”, and when that occurs the healthy thing to do is “de-accumulate”.  After all, “. . . a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  – Mark 10:9 

While celebrating our forty-third wedding anniversary this past week Tee and I began to share stories with each other about our life together all these many years, all the way back to the beginning of our relationship.  It was a fun conversation for they are our stories, the ones we created together.  We spent most of our time laughing, even about things that were not necessarily funny at the time.  It also just so happened that we were celebrating our wedding anniversary right on the heels of celebrating the birth of our fourth grandchild which made it an even more joyous occasion.

The stories we shared with each other that evening meant more than just sweet memories for the two of us – much more.  They are history, real history, history that matters and should be passed on.  As acclaimed author, speaker and Benedictine Sister, Joan Chittister explains in her powerful book The Gift of Years:  “Family tales have always been the parables one generation handed down to the next to tell us who we are and where we came from. . . . The tale-telling of the older people [is] the catechism of the family.  These [are] the life lessons meant to make us all stronger, wiser, and truer.  It is those stories told in front of the fire, in the kitchen during a wake, at parties and memorial services, at holidays that become the fiber of a family, a group, a people.  These stories become the living history that binds us together.”

A primary role of grandparents is to ensure that grandchildren are aware of who they are and where they came from.  We must teach them the “catechism of the family” as Joan Chittister refers to it.  They must know our stories, for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness and in health, life lessons to help them grow stronger, wiser, and truer.  It is what marriage and family is all about; why it remains one of the most sacred and influential of all institutions; and why we must endeavor to preserve and protect it.  “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?  Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”  – Isaiah 55:2 

The best things in life are free so they say.  But are they?  We certainly don’t seem to live that way, do we?  Not only are we a society of ravenous consumers, but we are suspicious of anything that is offered for free.  Either it is of poor quality, so we believe, or there must be a catch.  That is to say it must be free because someone is trying to sell us something, like giving away a camera or set of steak knives for simply taking a tour of some lake property.  Is anything really free these days?  Surely everything’s got a price.

For several years we owned a small cattle ranch is west Texas.  On one particular evening I recall sitting out watching a glorious sunset in the western sky.  As the daylight dimmed slowly away stars began to flicker brighter and brighter until the entire heavens were completely illuminated.  Only in the country away from city lights can one witness such a spectacular scene.  It was breath-taking.  And beneath the stars we could hear the quiet sounds of the country night – a gentle breeze rustling through the trees, coyotes yipping off in a distance, fish rising to the surface of the pond making a splash with their tales.  No artist could have painted such beauty.  There was something about being in the midst of nature that freed my spouse and me to discuss issues in our lives at a deeper level – our hopes and dreams, pains and fears, successes and failures.  We felt free and at peace.  Money cannot buy what we experienced that evening.

So, let me ask you this.  Can you buy friendship?  Can you buy nature’s beauty?  Can you buy peace or love?  Can God’s grace be purchased?   No?  Then could it in fact be true that the best things in life are free?  Listen to the wise words which the Prophet Isaiah proclaimed centuries ago.  “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!  Come buy wine and milk without money and without cost.  Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?  Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.”  The richest of fare!  And – get this – it’s free!

“The greatest among you will be your servant.”  – Matthew 23:11 

There’s an old story about two butcher shops located across the street from each other in a small village.  Both were owned by equally skilled butchers who carried the finest quality meat, but one prospered while the other struggled.  The one that prospered had a large loyal clientele, but the one that struggled suffered from a lack of regular customers.  One day a newcomer to the village wandered into the first butcher shop to purchase some meat for dinner.  Upon entering the store he received a warm welcome from the jovial proprietor.  “Welcome,” he said with a smile, “I’ll be with you in a moment,” as he went about his business tending to a long queue of customers, all of whom he knew by name.  Several days later the same newcomer again needed to buy some meat, but in an effort to spread his business around this time went to the other butcher shop.  Except when he entered the store there was no warm friendly greeting, nor was there a long line of shoppers in front of him.  Instead he encountered a grumpy old shop keeper who seemed bothered for having to wait on him. Wonder why the other butcher got all the business?

Then there’s the true story about Ted who worked as a checkout clerk at the local supermarket in our old neighborhood in Dallas.  He was an older gentleman and although he was steady, methodical and efficient, he was not exactly the fastest checker in the store.  Yet, on any given day there would be more customers waiting in Ted’s checkout lane than any other, even though some were much shorter.  Why?  Simple!  Ted always had a friendly smile, a story to tell, a conversation to carry on – plus, he knew each and every customer by name.  Most of us never thought of Ted as a clerk, but as a friend; and likewise Ted thought of the people he served as friends, not just customers.

Over time we all became aware that Ted’s wife was gravely ill, so it was not unusual for customers to ask about her, express concern and offer prayers.  One day as I was checking out I too inquired about his wife after which I offered to pray for the two of them as well.  Ted looked up at me with tears forming in the corners of his eyes.  “Thank you,” he said.  “We must be the most prayed for people on the face of the earth.”  Ted, you see, lived by example Jesus’ words:  “The greatest among you will be your servant.”