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“Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.”  – Luke 9:48 

Allow me to introduce the newest member of our family, a gift from God.

Olivia Wilson

Born August 17, 2014 at 9:34 a.m., 7 lbs. 5 oz.

Welcome, Olivia!  Life doesn’t get much more abundant than this!

“We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.”  – Psalm 78:4 

Wedding Dress – Part 2

For some reason the harp caught my eye.  Then I remembered what Debbie the antique lady had told me, that it was a young woman who plays the harp who had purchased my grandmother’s wedding gown.  Could this be her harp, I wondered?  Sure enough within moments a charming young lady appeared asking if she could play something for us.  “Of course,” I replied, “but first may I ask you a question?  Did you by chance buy an old wedding dress from an antique  . . .?”  Before I could finish the question I noticed her jaw dropping as she ran toward me, a total stranger, and threw her arms around my neck.  “I’ve been dying to meet you!” she exclaimed.  We had been shopping for vegetables at the local farmers’ market on a recent Saturday morning in the old historic district of downtown McKinney when we encountered Heather the young harp player who had set up there to entertain shoppers and perhaps pick up a few tips.  For some time we sat there with her while between songs she shared with us about discovering the dress in the antique store and how she was touched by the story about my grandmother.

Besides playing the harp Heather’s other passion happens to be vintage clothing which she not only collects but also wears occasionally when she performs.  As it turns out my grandmother’s wedding gown had fit her like a glove and she has since worn it a number of times while performing.  But what makes the dress extra special to her is knowing the story about my grandmother, her history, personality, and her character.

We never know how or when our life might touch another life, sometimes even years after we have passed on.  My grandmother would be thrilled – and so am I – that her story and her wedding dress live on through this talented young woman.  It just goes to show that her life mattered, and continues to matter.  So does yours, so does mine, and so does Heather’s.  Let us not hide these stories from the next generation, so they will in turn pass them along to the next.

“I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old – what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us.”  – Psalm 78:2-3

Wedding Dress – Part 1

I had never seen my grandmother’s wedding dress, even though it had been in my possession for at least fifteen years, until the day I sold it to a local antique dealer just a couple of years ago.  When it was bequeathed to me in the course of settling my parents’ estate it had long before been carefully packed in a large blue box and sealed with shrink wrap for preservation. I dared not break the seal to take a peek for fear of exposing it to the elements and causing it harm.  So for years the beautiful delicate lace, slightly tattered dress my grandmother had worn on her wedding day in 1909 sat tucked away in an airtight box on the top shelf of a rarely used closet in our home, sight unseen.

What should I do with it, I sometimes wondered, for I often felt it was something with which I had been entrusted, something sacred that was not mine to keep?  Yet it just sat there.  Then one day I met Debbie who owned an antique shop in downtown McKinney where we had recently moved.  After some conversation I felt Debbie understood my plight and knew exactly what to do.  So the two of us, Debbie and I, carefully unwrapped and unpacked my grandmother’s sweet gorgeous wedding gown from its sealed wrapper, and I saw it – finally – for the first time.  Debbie displayed the dress on a mannequin in her store in a prominent location and attached to it a brief history of the dress along with a short biography of my grandmother I had written so the prospective purchaser would be buying not just the dress, but also the story behind it.  And there it sat “for sale”.

“I will utter hidden things, things from of old – what we have heard and known . . .,” the Psalmist declares.  So it is I am sharing this story about my grandmother and her wedding dress – because her life mattered.  For in her almost ninety-six years she experienced the same ups and downs we all experience, yet faced them all with dignity and grace supported by a strong faith, prayer, concern for others and doing the right things. . . . Well, the dress did sell and when you read Part 2 next week you’ll see how my grandmother’s life still matters, and why yours matters too.

“He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.”  – Proverbs 18:13 

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make any noise?  Remember that little riddle?  Let me ask it another way.  If someone speaks and no one is listening, is that communication?  A recent Wall Street Journal article pointed out that “plenty of programs teach people to speak – but few train them to listen.”  If that’s the case, then “what we have here is a failure to communicate”, to quote from one of my favorite Paul Newman movies, “Cool Hand Luke”.

Like a mathematical equation, communication is incomplete without speaking and listening equaling each other.  This imbalance is nothing new, of course; in fact it is probably as old as mankind itself.  But perhaps it has become exaggerated in this age of electronic and social media that allows us to “speak” instantaneously to mass audiences any time we wish, which in turn creates an environment of everyone trying to speak at once and an ever increasing noise level to overcome in order to be heard.  The screaming just becomes louder and louder in hopes someone will listen.  The end result is that there is a world full of people begging for someone to just listen.

As an ICF certified coach I will attest that “active listening” is one of the core competencies that must be mastered in order to receive certification.  So if the Wall Street Journal is correct our profession may be one of the few where listening skills are actually required and rigorously taught.  What I’ve learned from practicing this profession over several years is that becoming a great communicator begins with being a great listener, that our attentiveness to another human being speaks much louder than our words.

So, allow me to restate the riddle.  If someone speaks and no one is listening, is that communication?  If the answer is “no” then based on my observations “what we have here is a failure to communicate.”  And if that’s true, what’s missing in the equation, and what can you and I do to bring it into balance?  Here’s a hint:  there is a world full of people begging for someone to just listen.

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’ . . .”  – Matthew 5:37 

Dan Sullivan in his book How the Best Get Better describes what he calls the four habits of common decency.  (1) Show up on time; (2) Do what you say you’re going to do; (3) Finish what you start; and (4) Say please and thank you.  I’ve often thought that if a young person embarking on a new career were to ask for my advice I would first encourage that person to strive for excellence at his or her chosen profession, becoming the best they can be.  Then, and of equal importance, I would share with them Dan Sullivan’s four habits of common decency and advise that they focus on developing those habits.  Why?  Because all else being equal, it is character that will be the tipping point in the level of one’s success, besides being the right thing to do.

I’m reminded of the story about a young family from my small northwest Texas hometown who like many folks in that part of the state during the mid-1950’s found themselves burdened with debt and struggling to make ends meet due to a severe and extended drought.  This family along with others was ultimately forced to move away for better paying jobs and more promising opportunities.  When they left town it seemed they owed one of the local grocers a large sum of money on their grocery bill which they were unable to pay.  But rather than just walking away from the debt, they instead went to the grocer and promised to settle the account as soon as they got back on their feet.  Sure enough true to their word they did indeed over time repay the debt, every penny.  Eventually they not only got back on their feet but actually grew to become rather prosperous in their new life.

The importance of character should never be underestimated in our respective endeavors.  And while there is always a need for people who are excellent at what they do, there is an even greater demand for competent people who happen to be of good character, who do the right things for the right reasons – like:  Show up on time; Do what you say you’re going to do; Finish what you start; Say please and thank you.  Or as scripture tells us, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’, and your ‘No’, ‘No’” . . . like the example of the young couple who repaid their debt to the grocer, doing what they said they were going to do.