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“. . . when a wise man is instructed, he gets knowledge.”  – Proverbs 21:11 

My great aunt, Aunt Jenny, played many some special roles in our family, most notably of which was that of our go-to family scholar.  Actually her name was Janie not Jenny, and as an educator who taught elementary school for over fifty years she was respectfully addressed by her students and the folks around town as “Miss Janie”.  That should give you a little hint about the era in which she lived and the fact she never married.   

Aunt Jenny was my grandmother’s older sister and only sibling, and always part of the scene in our family.  She lived right next door to my grandparents in the same house she and my grandmother were raised in, so she was around all the time.  In fact, after my grandfather passed away she moved in with my grandmother and they lived together the rest of their lives.  I never remember having a meal in my grandparent’s home – ever – that did not include Aunt Jenny and some of her delicious recipes.  She was always there. 

She had more knowledge tucked away in her brain than almost anyone I’ve ever known.  Her mind was like an encyclopedia.  Because of her unceasing sense of curiosity and passion for education she was a lifetime learner even into her nineties.  She never stopped reading anything she could get her hands on, and wrote copious notes about what she learned.  We found written evidence in her tattered Bible, for instance, that she had read it all the way through at least fifty times.  Thus she earned the distinction as our go-to family scholar. 

Aunt Jenny knew a lot about a lot of things, but in spite of her knowledge and intellect she never came across as a know-it-all.  She would certainly share what she knew when called upon, but I never recall her being imposing or intimidating, maybe because she always knew there was more to learn. 

“Miss Janie’s” life purpose as well as her legacy was encouraging others to become lifelong learners like herself.  To her it wasn’t about knowing it all, it was about the simple joy of satisfying one’s curiosity, in knowing there is always much more to learn.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”  – Matthew 6:19 

In Malcolm Gladwell’s newest book, David and Goliath, which I have just begun to read, he discusses how increased wealth and income is an advantage, but only to a certain point after which it starts to diminish into a disadvantage.  An illustration he uses is the role of income in parenting.  As you can imagine for those at the lowest income levels parenting can be very difficult.  So it stands to reason that as income rises parenting becomes easier.  But as Gladwell points out, “Money makes parenting easier until a certain point – when it stops making much difference.”  Then, he goes on, “. . . when the income of parents gets high enough, then parenting starts to be harder again.” 

As I read this it occurred to me the age-old question about wealth, how much is enough?  Certainly poverty is not a circumstance most of us would choose, and we probably all agree that there is some proportional relation to our happiness and well-being the higher our level of income – but only to a point.  The question is, what is that point when wealth and income impact our happiness and well-being toward the negative?    

About three years ago when Tee and I decided to sell our home that we had lived in almost twenty-four years we began preparing by getting rid of a lot of stuff, things that over the years had accumulated in the attic and backs of closets and cabinets serving no purpose except collecting dust.  In the process of deciding what to keep or discard we established a rule.  No matter what, family heirloom or not, if it is something we use regularly it stays, if not it goes.  Except for a couple of small items that got placed in the discard pile accidentally, we’ve never missed a thing – and we feel so unburdened! 

We all have essential needs to live comfortably, and that includes a certain level of wealth and income.  But as to the age-old question, how much is enough?  When our possessions become a burden, getting in the way of our happiness and well-being we’ve accumulated too much.  That’s when we need to discard some things, and hear in our hearts the wisdom of the scriptures:  “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth.”

“Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company . . .” – Proverbs 24:1 

While cleaning out my parents’ house several years ago after they had passed away we came across a copy of a letter my dad had written to a judge on behalf of a young man charged with drug possession.  The young man had once worked for my dad and had been a decent, dependable, hard-working employee.  The obvious intention of the letter was to urge leniency from the judge as my dad believed the boy to be deep down a good person.  “I think he just got mixed up with the wrong crowd,” my dad said in his plea. 

Who among us would not agree that we are all products of the people we hang out with – good or bad?  It is why parents encourage their children to participate in things like Scouts (boys and girls), team sports, music programs, church youth groups, and other positive activities, so they will be exposed to good influences.  After all, if we hang out with smart people we become smarter, with good athletes we become better athletes, with good musicians we sing or play better, or with generally good people we are more inclined to live like they live.  Likewise, hanging out with the wrong crowd will most certainly influence us in negative ways. 

For many years now I’ve been meeting with a group of men on Tuesday mornings for the sole purpose of influencing each other in positive ways.  We use our time together to pray, share something about our relationship with God, what we are reading or studying to help us grow in knowledge and spirit, and things we are doing to serve God and mankind.  Thankfully, over time I have become a product of these fine men I hang out with on Tuesday morning.  But regrettably there have been a few times in my life when I’ve chosen the wrong crowd, and without fail it has led to misery of some form.  

The young man my dad defended had become a product of the crowd he hung out with, but that doesn’t release him from responsibility for making that choice, nor am I excused from my own poor choices.  We must choose our friends and those we hang out with wisely; for we are products of their influence.  I pray that young man eventually got mixed up with the right crowd, and became the man my dad believed he could be.

“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”  – Mark 2:27 

Back in the 1950’s and ‘60’s in the small town where I grew up we could hardly buy a loaf of bread or bottle of milk on Sunday, mostly because of  “blue laws” that existed in those days which prohibited the sale of most consumer goods on Sundays, though I also believe there were many citizens who actually honored the Sabbath by observing the fourth commandment.  Regardless, the town was essentially closed for business that one day a week providing people an opportunity to rest, relax and reflect.  

We’ve often heard it said that no one on a death bed ever confessed, “I wish I had spent more time at the office.”  When I hear that I’m often reminded of a former colleague and close friend with whom I worked when I was in the corporate world.  She was extraordinarily talented, had achieved tremendous success, and seemed to have a bright future.  But she worked relentlessly, long hours seven days a week.  It always puzzled me that she worked so much, for I held a similar position in the company, achieved comparable success, and also had a promising future, yet I never put in the hours she did.  One day I received word that my friend had become gravely ill, and soon thereafter she died – at way too young of an age.  I still grieve when I think of her, and even feel a little guilty that I was unable to encourage her to cut back her hours and take a break, showing her the importance of Sabbath.  Had I done so, I wonder, would she still be among us, and more importantly with her family?  I wish I had convinced her to spend less time at the office. 

Man was not made for the Sabbath as we too often misinterpret the fourth commandment; rather, the Sabbath was made for man.  Honoring the Sabbath is not meant to restrict us, but to revitalize us so we can live abundantly.  As I think back on those times when we were more observant of the Sabbath, no one seemed to miss not buying milk and bread on Sunday – or anything else.  We simply worked the other six days and prepared to have a day off to rest, relax, reflect and give thanks, after which we went back to work – invigorated and with a greater sense of purpose.  “The Sabbath was made for man …”

“Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways . . .”  – Psalm 25:7 

Could-a, would-a, should-a.  Occasionally my mind likes to play the what-if game.  Know what I mean, looking back at my past life and imagining what if I had done this instead of that, made this choice instead of that one, gone a different direction from the path I took?  Could-a, would-a, should-a, I like to call it.  What a foolish waste of time, though, an exercise that leads to nothing but feelings of regret!  Two things generally awaken me from such mindless wanderings.  One is the reality that the clock cannot be turned back anyway, so forget about it.  No do-overs, what’s done is done.  The other is the fact that many other choices I’ve made have actually been good ones, excellent in fact.  The first that comes to mind is my spouse, the love of my life, from whom our family was spawned and love continues to grow.  Then there are the careers I have chosen, of which I can’t imagine doing anything that could be more rewarding.  

Whenever I wrestle with the what-if game I also realize that I’m simply playing armchair quarterback with my life, looking back with 20-20 hindsight, through a lens of wisdom which I now have – thanks to the experiences and choices I’ve made through the years – but was clearly absent at the time I made those choices. 

In his most recent newsletter Bob Buford, author of the bestselling book Halftime, makes the case that football games are most often won in the second half.  He uses that analogy to demonstrate how our lives are much like football games, concluding that, “The first half gets you in the game,” he claims, “[but] the second half is for your best plays.”  When I read that it occurred to me that all the choices we make in the first half, the good and the bad, the successes and the failures, prepare us for our best plays in the second half. 

I still find myself praying often that same prayer of the Psalmist:   “O Lord, ‘remember not the sins of my youth . . .’” to which I like to add:  “. . . nor allow me to dwell on could-a, would-a, should-a; but instead use the wisdom I’ve gained from the first half of the game to be used in the second half – for the best plays.”  May it be so.  AMEN!