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“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up . . .” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

When my dad was seven years old he used his savings to purchase some brushes, paints and a large stretched canvas (36”x42”) then stashed it all in the chicken coop behind his parents’ house.  Every day he would sneak out there to paint, a picture intended to surprise his mother on her birthday.  Soon, however, my grandparents became suspicious of his frequent visits to the henhouse suspecting some sort of mischievous activities.  What they discovered was astonishing, a complete oil-on-canvas of “The Three Bears” walking up a path to Goldilocks’ house surrounded by a colorful background of green grass, puffy clouds and blue sky, and a ripply pond.  A little primitive perhaps, but it was nevertheless quite an accomplishment for a seven-year-old.

My grandparents responded by encouraging him and arranged for private art lessons.  Daddy studied art and painted prolifically throughout his youth and into his early twenties until he married and became busy raising a family and running a business.  Later in life, though, with more time on his hands and a renewed interest, he once again studied art and painted vigorously, producing a whole new repertoire of paintings.  Though none of his artwork ever became famous or monetarily valuable, his paintings remain cherished treasures within our family.

My dad’s greatest artistic legacy was not his collection of paintings, however; rather, as his parents had done for him, it was the encouragement he offered others in their artistic endeavors.  There were times he would give away his own paints and brushes to someone else who he thought had promise as an artist.

Today “The Three Bears” painting hangs prominently in the entryway of our home as it has for many years.  Every time I pass by it I have to chuckle about the story of my dad as a little boy sneaking out to the henhouse.  But more than that I see it as a symbol of encouragement, which as every wise leader knows is the most positive motivator a leader can possess in his toolbox, and indeed one of the most precious gifts one person can offer another.  “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up . . .”

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”     –  Psalm 46:1-2 

My wife’s grandfather, whose name was Cecil, was one of the most fearless men I’ve ever met.  I don’t think he was afraid of the old devil himself as the saying goes.  One time we were out fishing on a ranch near where he lived when we encountered a huge rattlesnake.  As my heart rate spiked to about a thousand beats per minute, my instinct was to run, but not old Cecil, who was in his mid-eighties at the time.  “Find me something,” he said calmly.  But before I could respond he reached down on the ground and picked up an old piece of a broken tree branch that was no more than about two feet long.  He then began walking around the snake in a circle taunting it, and every time the snake reared up to strike Cecil would whack it on the head.  All I could think of was how to get him to the nearest hospital after he got bit, which he never did.  Cecil just kept smacking that old rattler on the head until he won the battle.  He was fearless!

Cecil loved speed – cars, motorcycles, airplanes, anything – and age didn’t slow him down.  Once he was stopped by a state trooper for speeding and after the patrolman finished writing his citation Cecil asked the man which direction he was going from there.  When the cop pointed to the east Cecil thanked him and said he thought he’d go west, that way the guy wouldn’t catch him again.  He was fearless!

I’m not nearly as fearless as Cecil, but I do find that with age I have become more so.  A couple of years ago I had an experience that almost took my life.  What amazed me when that occurred was that I never felt fear – not at all.  Now it could be that after so many years life had simply prepared me to handle such situations.  But I really think it has more to do with growing closer to God “who is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore I do not fear.”  I suspect my grandfather-in-law, Cecil, felt the same way.  In fact, I’m pretty certain of it; for he remained fearless all the way to age ninety-five when he drew his last breath.  He was fearless! – which has had a great influence on my growing to be more fearless too.

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.”  – Romans 12:6 

On a road trip to my brother’s ranch down in the Texas hill country some years back our route took us through Fredericksburg, Texas.  Notice I said “through” not “to”, for Fredericksburg with its German culture and cuisine, well preserved native stone buildings and bustling Main Street lined with quaint boutique shops and stores makes it a popular destination spot.  My wife, Tee, especially loves spending time in Fredericksburg, but on this particular occasion we happened to just be passing through – or so I thought.

Without thinking I whizzed down Main Street to the other side of town headed back to the open road; that is until I heard an eruption from the passenger seat.  “What?” she yelled, “You’re not going to stop?!!”  “Uh, uh, of course,” I stammered trying to make a quick come-back, “just going around the block to find a parking place.”  Moments later as we walked down the street I again made an attempt to defend myself.  “I was just trying to get from point A to point B,” I explained, to which my spouse informed me in no uncertain terms, “This IS point B!”  Now you would think after all our years of marriage I would have realized that her point B and mine are not always the same.

One of the first things a coach must do when working with a client is to have the client determine his or her point B; that is, where the client is trying to go, or what the goal is he or she is trying to attain.  Once that becomes clear then it is the coach’s job to help that person get from point A to point B.

The Apostle Paul makes a point that we each have different gifts.  “[If a man’s gift] is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.”  Because we have different gifts we each may have a different goals we are pursuing – different point B’s – yet no one’s point B should be considered more important than another.  Which brings me back to my Fredericksburg, Texas story; the fact I thought my point B was more important than hers is what got me in trouble.  Sure glad I stopped.

“I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.” – Ecclesiastes 3:12 

Back in the 60’s and 70’s during his heyday I was a big fan of country singer Roger Miller.  Many may remember him for his hit song “King of the Road”, but for me it was the nonsensical lyrics he so masterfully wrote like “Do Wacka Do”, followed by a little “root doot doot doot do-wah”.  What I loved about those nonsensical lyrics was . . . well, sometimes they actually made a lot of sense.  Consider my all-time favorite that goes like this:  “Oh, you can’t roller skate in buffalo herd, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd, you can’t roller skate in a buffalo herd, but you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.  All you gotta do is put your mind to it, knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it”.

Who in the world would even think up such a silly idea as rolling skating in a buffalo herd except, of course, do-wacky-do Roger Miller?  It’s so absurd, in fact, it makes absolutely no sense, except that it does when you listen to the rest of the verse.  And that’s the whole point of the song, that even in the midst of life’s absurdities “you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.  All you gotta do is put your mind to it, knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it.”

Happiness is like love in that attaining it and retaining it is much more deliberate than it is circumstantial.  That is to say it happens because we choose it – we put our mind to it – much more than because life hands it to us.  I’ve told this before about when my brother and sister-in-law celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary their grandson asked how they managed to stay married for fifty years, to which my brother offered this simple yet brilliant response.  “You just do,” he said.  In other words, living together and staying in love all those years – being happy! – does not just happen because you’re lucky.  It is because you choose for it to be so, “knuckle down buckle down do it do it do it”.

As wise King Solomon once said, “I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.”  And you can be happy if you’ve a mind to.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Proverbs 27:17 

The former CEO of my former corporate employer, a large Wall Street investment firm, used to say that “people will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  When he first said this it was exactly what everyone needed to hear, for it was in the late 1980’s just when the internet was gaining traction in revolutionizing all sorts of commerce, creating fear among those in almost every industry that the new electronic age would soon replace humans altogether.  The financial services industry being at the leading edge of that fear needed to hear our CEO’s inspiring reminder more than ever, that human beings will always need other human beings.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”  Looking back it is amazing how prophetic the words of our former CEO were; for as much as the internet has become a fast and reliable universal resource it has yet to replace the need for human interaction and expertise.  Take medicine, for example, where the internet has all kinds of information about diseases, ailments, conditions, and treatments, but when we are ill we still need a doctor, do we not?  The same can be said for almost any profession.  People will always need the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.

“There is a mental sharpness that comes from being around good people,” I read recently, “and a meeting of minds can help people see their ideas with new clarity, refine them, and shape them into brilliant insights.”  Those words, in fact, are practically the mantra of my profession of executive coaching, a profession created specifically for the purpose of one person sharpening another.   Ironically coaching as a profession didn’t even exist prior to the evolution of the internet.  Could it be that the overwhelming volume of information available at the mere click of a mouse actually increased awareness for the need of human interaction rather than suppressing it?

Two people who bring their thoughts and ideas together can help each other become sharper – just as iron sharpens iron.  “People will always be in need of the advice and counsel of a fellow human being.”  Technology will never replace that.