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“As my research has carried me back through the years, I have been brought to a greater appreciation and a keener realization of the refining and cultural influence that our homes, schools, churches and social orders have brought to bear upon our people . . . It is they who brought into being and nourished a community that is dear to our hearts and into whose sod our roots have truly grown deep and strong.” Carmen Taylor Bennett, from Our Roots Grow Deep, 1970.

I have been privileged to have come from deep roots, from pioneer ancestors who settled in and around the rural, hard-scrabble northwest Texas county where I was born and raised – the subject of Carmen Taylor Bennett’s book – to having strong family connections that can easily be traced back four or five generations or more. Roots are important, they ground us and nourish our souls in ways nothing else can. Yet in this fast-paced mostly urban lifestyle we live in today the depth of our roots has unfortunately become much more shallow. Many are disconnected from the strong generational ties that once existed. But people still yearn for deep roots, I believe, for roots provide valuable insights as to who we are and why we exist, and we all have a need for meaning in our lives.

Being among a privileged class with deep family and cultural roots as I am, however, while helpful is not the ultimate revelation of our human roots. It actually began, as I discovered when I started to study scripture in earnest, thousands of generations ago in our human ancestry; for as one reads the stories of the great characters of the Bible such as Abraham, Jacob, Noah, Moses, David, Solomon, Ruth, Esther, Job, and others we realize that their stories mirror our own, indeed they are “every man’s” stories – imperfect people whose roots are planted in the same soil as yours and mine. As Carmen Taylor Bennett said so well, “It is they who brought into being and nourished a [human] community that is dear to our hearts and into whose sod our roots have truly grown deep and strong.” So no matter who we are, where we were born, or what we may know about our ancestry, be assured that our roots all grow deep. We should all cherish and be nourished by those roots. They grow deep and strong in sacred sod.

Did you ever consider how important it is to be moving forward, to be making progress? It just occurred to me this past week how powerfully we are impacted by whether or not we feel that our lives are moving forward. My wife Tee, not normally a moody person, had been feeling some frustration recently about being stuck in some circumstances beyond her control. Then over the weekend we received a contract on our house which has been on the market for several weeks. Suddenly and dramatically everything about her changed as if all at once she felt unstuck and was moving forward again.

So often we fail to realize that moving forward is much more important than hitting homeruns, although homeruns are a nice bonus from time to time. But mostly life is about hitting singles, advancing from one base to the next, than it is knocking it out of the park. It is about knowing that somehow, someway we are moving forward.

The great twentieth century philosopher, Dr. Seuss, expressed it this way: “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” he exclaimed. “You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! . . . Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t. I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. . . . You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. . . . [Then you find yourself in] The Waiting Place . . . for people just waiting. [But] No! That’s not for you! Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. . . Oh, the places you’ll go! . . . And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

I still say hurray for homeruns, big successes and great accomplishments. We need them from time to time. But real happiness and fulfillment is not so much about that as it is moving forward, and moving forward is an attitude more than it is an activity, a state of mind even when we are stuck or waiting. Then we begin to recognize delays and setbacks for what they really are – part of the process of moving forward. And when you move forward you will succeed, “98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed”.

“You’re on your own.” Have you ever heard those words? You probably have in one way or another more times than you can remember. One instance I remember was with Sammy, the crusty old foreman in the metal shop where I worked during college. When I first went to work there Sammy took me around to the various machines and taught me how to operate each one – only I wouldn’t exactly call it teaching. It was more like he demonstrated the procedure one time then muttered to me as he walked away, “you’re on your own.” Eventually after several blunders I figured it out, but it surely would have been easier if old Sammy had hung around a little longer before leaving me on my own.

One of the great “you’re on your own” stories involved the prophet Elijah who had taken on Elisha as his apprentice. “When the Lord was about to take Elijah up to heaven in a whirlwind,” scripture says, “Elijah and Elisha were on their way from Gilgal. Elijah said to Elisha, ‘Stay here; the Lord has sent me to Bethel.’ But Elisha said, ‘As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.’ So they went down to Bethel.” Elijah tried the same trick two other times in an effort to leave Elisha “on his own” – once to Jericho and another to the river Jordan – but Elisha cleverly clung to his mentor as long as he could until being promised a double portion of Elijah’s spirit; whereupon a chariot of fire separated them and Elijah was swept away to heaven in a whirlwind leaving Elisha “on his own” for sure. (Source: 2 Kings 2)

It’s the story of all our lives where a mentor of some kind, maybe several – a parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, boss – for whom we served as apprentice must go, leaving us on our own. Yet, like Elisha did with Elijah we cling to them as long as we can, not wanting to give up the comfort and safety of their wisdom.

It is not wrong to depend upon our mentor as long as we can, but the time will always come when he or she stands no more as our leader and guide. Our response always is to cling to them as long as possible. But it is for our own sake and the responsibility we have for the next generation that we must be on our own; for we must prepare ourselves to say and the next generation to hear those words, “you’re on your own.”

“What we’ve got here is . . . failure to communicate.” Remember that line from the movie “Cool Hand Luke” (1967)? It probably ranks up there as one of the most quoted movie lines ever, alongside others like Cling Eastwood’s famous “Dirty Harry” scene , “go ahead, make my day”, or Rhett Butler’s memorable “frankly Scarlett I don’t give a . . .”. The difference is that “failure to communicate” is much more than a line from a movie scene; it is something we deal with every day.

Isn’t it amazing that in today’s world with all the advanced electronic communication tools – email, text messaging, cell phones, internet, radio and television, etc. – we still suffer from “failure to communicate”. Could it be that we have become so dependent on the instantaneous flow of information that we have left out some of the other important elements in communication such as basic etiquette and common courtesy?

Here are a few tips: (1) Listen! Listen (or read) not only with your ears (or eyes) but with all your senses. That is, pay attention to the person not just the words. (2) Reflect. Think about what you hear before you react. Try to understand even if you don’t agree. (3) Respond. Emails and voice mails are easy to ignore, but common decency tells us we should at least acknowledge them. Besides, failure to respond is “failure to communicate”. (4) Ask questions. In coaching we are taught that “questions attract, statements repel”. Asking questions lubricates the lines of communication by showing respect to the other party in addition to gaining clarity about what is being communicated. (5) Communication works both ways. Before blaming others for failure to communicate first consider how you could have been a better communicator yourself. And (6) follow the Golden Rule. Treat others the way you would have them treat you.

“What we’ve got here [in our society] is . . . a failure to communicate,” and I too am as much an offender as a victim. The solution, though, is simple. All that’s needed is the addition of a little basic etiquette and common courtesy. Try it and see what happens.

Throughout the twenty-five years or so that I had known my wife’s grandfather, Cecil Dye, I never knew him to be particularly obsessed or worried about the future, by that I mean retirement, old age and all that. It is not that he did not plan ahead, take the proper precautions, watch his pennies, etc., but he did not dwell on such things either. He simply kept his affairs in order and otherwise went about his daily life and work. That is not to say he was a man without goals and dreams. In fact, he was as ambitious as anyone having become a master at his trade and successful in operating his business.

Cecil, though, did not allow his goals and ambitions to blind him from the importance of the tasks put before him each day. He did not view such things as obstacles or distractions from some goal or end result he was trying to attain; rather he just considered them to be part of daily living. Cecil more or less lived by the old adage that “life is a journey not a destination”, which may have contributed to his long active life of almost ninety-five years.

Oswald Chambers once wrote, “We must never put our dreams of success as God’s purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not. . . [No] what we call the process, God calls the end. . . His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future.”

I dare not minimize the importance of goals and ambitions, however, for they do inspire purpose and vision in our lives. Yet how often have I in my own obsession for attaining success overlooked some task put before me dismissing it as an obstacle or distraction rather than embracing it as part of the process? And how might embracing that task have had an even greater impact than whatever goal I was pursuing?

Thank goodness for wise elders like Cecil Dye who, though he enjoyed success as much as anyone, loved the process even more, embracing the tasks put before him as part of daily living. That is why for those of us whose lives were touched by his remember him not so much for what he did as how he lived his life. And that has had the greater impact.