Monthly Archives: October 2015

“Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.”

• Proverbs 18:12 

Have you ever had to eat crow?  I find it terribly distasteful and hard to swallow, don’t you?  I recall getting served a platter full during a board meeting several years ago when someone proved I was flat out wrong about something, leaving me no choice except to admit it.  I just hate it when that happens!  After all, winners are right, losers are wrong; and who wants to be a loser?  That’s what I’ve been conditioned to think anyway.

An odd thing happened later that day, though, as I was trying to wash that unsavory taste out of my mouth.  An email message popped up on my computer from a fellow board member who had witnessed my confession and thanked me for my comments – that is, for admitting I was wrong.  (Gee, it hurts to say those words!)  She went on to say something about my being a man of integrity.  What?  Where did that come from?  I wasn’t concerned about integrity; I just wanted to be right!  Yet, there I sat red faced picking feathers out of my teeth when this gracious lady handed me an olive branch and an offer of friendship.

It struck me after that episode that perhaps a little crow in our diets might be healthy.  What would happen if our political leaders added crow to their menus occasionally?  They might not be so polarized.  And what about courtrooms?  Maybe we wouldn’t find reason to sue each other so much.  It wouldn’t hurt to serve some up at the family dinner table either.  Wonder what impact that might have on the divorce rate?  You see, the other thing I discovered is that you can’t eat crow and talk at the same time – which forces you have to listen.

Now I’ve eaten crow before – more times than I’d like to admit – but I still haven’t developed much of a taste for it.  I’m certainly not ready to make a steady diet of it, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to eat some now and then.  The problem is I still have this nagging desire to be right.  But the Proverb has something to say about that:  “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.”

This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  – Psalm 118:24 

Remembering one of my best days:

A popular party venue in my small hometown was a room on the second floor of the city hall / fire station just above where the firetrucks were housed.  It was a large open space with glossy hardwood floors perfect for dancing, sparsely furnished with only a few tables and some folding chairs lined up along the walls.  All that needed to be added to transform it into a party room were some home baked cookies, a tray of sandwiches, and a bowl of punch, all courtesy of the host moms; that and a portable record player with a stack of 45 rpm’s of the latest hit songs.

The parties I attended there have long since become a blur after all these years, except for one, and even that one I remember few details nor the purpose, probably someone’s birthday.  We were about thirteen at the time, that awkward age when boys and girls were uncomfortable interacting.  The girls sat on one side of the room waiting for the boys to ask them to dance, while the boys sat on the other side trying to muster the courage to ask.  Sound like a familiar scene?  Eventually, thanks to some coaxing by the host moms, someone would break the ice and we started dancing.  That particular party was no different than any of the others, except it was the first time I ever consciously realized I was having a really great time – in the moment, rather than days, weeks, or years later.

It was one of my best days, in spite of being an awkward, clumsy, shy early-adolescent.  And I don’t even remember much about the party.  What I do remember is that sudden overwhelming sense of joy for what was happening in the moment.

How easy it is to become distracted by the problems and anxieties of life, the pain, grief and fears we face and fail to recognize those special moments that are right before our very eyes.  The Psalmist offers us the secret to overcoming these distractions so we can experience more “best days”.  Simply pray these words:  “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  – Proverbs 29:18 (KJV) 

“I have a dream today.”  Excerpts from Dr. King’s famous speech, arguably one of the most important speeches of the twentieth century, linger in our minds like the lyrics from a favorite song.  “I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:  ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident:  that all men are created equal.’ . . . I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. . . . I have a dream today.”  But Dr. King had more than a dream.  He had a vision that one day all races would live and work side by side as friends and fellow members of society without prejudice, a work that will be in progress for years to come.

So what is the difference between a dream and a vision?  In his book Visioneering Pastor Andy Stanley defines vision this way:  “Visions are born in the soul of a man or woman who is consumed with the tension between what is and what could be. . . Visions form in the hearts of those who are dissatisfied with the status quo. . . Over time that dissatisfaction matures into a clear picture of what could be. . . But a vision is more than that. . . . Anyone with a vision will tell you that this is not merely something that could be done.  This is something that should be done. . . . It is this element that catapults men and women out of the realm of passive concern into action.”  Dr. King’s “dream” was not born out of mere passive concern; rather it was something catapulted into action, thus not just a dream but a vision.

We are all potential visionaries, though perhaps not as grandiose as Dr. King – nor others like Henry Ford or the Wright Brothers.  But we all struggle with a gap between what is and what could be.  For those of us in the practice of executive and professional coaching it is what we do, helping people identify that gap or discrepancy, creating a plan of action to make it happen, then ensuring the plan of action is followed through.  Imagine our world today without visionaries.  Where would our society be without Dr. King?  And what might others be deprived of without your vision?  If you’re struggling with this, find a coach who can help.  Remember, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”  – Luke 12:48 

“But you were always a good man of business, Jacob,” Ebenezer Scrooge tried to remind the ghost of his late business partner Jacob Marley in Dickens’ timeless story A Christmas Carol.  “Business!” cried the ghost in response.  “Mankind was my business.  The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were all my business.  The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!” Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, two of today’s world’s richest men, issued a challenge to their fellow billionaires sometime back to join them in giving away a significant portion of their wealth.  Whether they had been inspired by Dickens’ tale, Christ’s words, or simply their own good consciences we don’t know.  Regardless of their motives, though, it is encouraging what these men did making a public statement about their wealth that essentially says it is not theirs to keep, but to give away – and to give away for the greater good of mankind.  At an even deeper level their message is all but an admission that their wealth had never been theirs to begin with; rather it is a gift, and their extreme philanthropy is a way of publicly admitting that. “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded . . .” is not a message intended for only the mega-wealthy, however.  It applies to all of us; for we have all been blessed in some way with more than enough.  And just as Bill Gates and Warren Buffett seemed to have recognized, it is not for us to keep but to give away.  Some have been blessed with financial wealth, some have physical strength and energy, others have knowledge and wisdom, and all of us at the very least have the ability to offer a smile or an encouraging word.  Whatever our gifts, talents, or resources might be, they have been entrusted to us not just for ourselves but for the greater good.  Mankind is our business.  The common welfare is our business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence are all our business.  For, “. . . from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”