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Abundant Living Vol. VIII, Issue 19

What does it mean to be powerful? Most of us think of powerful people as being either captains of industry, politicians, or the extremely wealthy. From among that group my first exposure to such a person was a man from hometown named Bill Heatly who was during his time indisputably our town’s most notable citizen. He was not only well known locally but throughout the State of Texas having served in the state legislature for twenty-eight consecutive years (1955-1983) where he wielded significant power during his tenure in office, attaining the nickname the “Duke of Paducah”, a reference to our hometown of Paducah, Texas. One of my university professors during the late 1960’s, a renowned expert in Texas politics, once said he believed Mr. Heatly to be the most powerful figure in the Texas government, more so even than the governor at that time.

I happened to have known Bill Heatly quite well as a neighbor, family friend, and being buddies with his youngest son. Having spent time around him I can attest that he was a man who exuded power. It was true he had a keen sense of how to develop and maintain a strong influential power base and how to use it to accomplish his goals, and during his heyday he did a great deal of good for the constituents within his legislative district as well as the citizens of the State of Texas. But like most powerful people he had his share of enemies, those who opposed and disagreed with him, people who accused him of being ruthless, manipulative and self-serving. Arguably he was a man capable of using his power against someone who crossed him as much as helping someone in need.

What does it mean, though, to be powerful? I thought about that this past week when I stopped myself from saying something that could have been harmful and hurtful to another person. It caused me to shutter to think I have that kind of power. But it also made me realize I have the power to say and do things that can help and encourage others as well. So what makes you and me any different from politicians like Bill Heatly, or the titans of industry or people of extreme wealth? Nothing really except that the size of our circle of influence may be smaller, but the power we have within that circle is no different. We all have the capacity to choose how we use our power, to influence good or to inflict harm. It is not just the “powerful” who are powerful, you see, we all are. The question we must ask ourselves – each and every day – is how will we use it?


Abundant Living Vol. VIII, Issue 18

In my world of business and executive coaching my clients often beg of me in some form or fashion to “tell me what to do coach.” And my greatest temptation always is to respond by . . . well, telling them what to do. The dangers in this are twofold. First of all most of the time if I tell them what to do I’m probably unqualified to do so, for they have a much greater understanding of their business and circumstance than I’ll ever know – plus most of my clients are much smarter than me. More importantly, though, if I am too quick to offer advice I have robbed my client of the opportunity to come up with his or her own solution which is inevitably going to be much better than any advice I could ever give.

The International Coach Federation (ICF) in its infinite wisdom has established eleven core competencies that all credentialed coaches, of which I am one, are trained in. Three of those competencies specifically address how to deal with this issue “tell me what to do coach”. The first is “active listening” (core competency #5) defined by the ICF as the “ability to focus completely on what the client is saying and is not saying, to understand the meaning of what is said in the context of the client’s desires, and to support client self-expression,” in other words to really listen. The second related core competency (#6) is “powerful questioning” which is the “ability to ask questions that reveal the information needed for maximum benefit to the coaching relationship and the client.” And the third is “direct communication”, or the “ability to communicate effectively during coaching sessions, and to use language that has the greatest positive impact on the client.” (Source: ICF website, www.coachfederation.org)

So let me ask you, when you are searching for ideas, answers, or solutions do you really want someone to tell you what to do? Is that what you really want? Or wouldn’t you rather come up with it yourself? In seeking counsel aren’t you really just needing someone to listen – actively listen – to your situation and help you dig deeper so you can create your own ideas, answers or solutions? That’s why the ICF core competencies are such powerful tools for coaches like me.

There are times when I do know the answer and on rare occasions I find it appropriate to share that. But most of the time I find that clients are much more capable than me. My job is to help them realize that. Or as I heard at a coaching conference several months ago “sometimes what people need is a guide on the side rather than a sage on the stage.”


Abundant Living Vol. VIII, Issue 17

One of the greatest memories I have of my mother occurred just shortly before she passed away. By that time cancer had taken its toll to the point she required round-the-clock care and was confined to a nursing facility. Because we all knew her time was brief I drove to San Antonio as often as possible to be with her.

It was one of those weekends and I mostly sat in the room with her at her bedside. She napped some, but we also visited or sat quietly and read. Occasionally I would help her up to move around or go to the bathroom. But one morning a nurse came by to take her down the hall for some physical therapy. They did that to keep her strength up as long as possible, and though she was weak the nurse nonetheless made her walk to the therapy room using a walker – part of the therapy. “Come on and go with me,” my mom urged as she shuffled out of her room. “This will be fun, you’ll enjoy watching.” So I followed along and sure enough we entered a small room that looked more like a child’s playroom than something in a hospital. It was filled with all sorts of games, balls, and other toys.

I took a seat and watched as the therapist led her through some simple exercises. Mom, despite her weakened condition, seemed to enjoy the activities. Then the therapist led her to a tall table where another patient was standing, an elderly gentleman. On the table was a set of dominoes and the two were instructed to engage in a game of dominoes. It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud, for I saw the spirit in my mother’s eyes I had seen all my life. I wanted to tell the old gentleman, “Mister, you’re in trouble.” Indeed he was. My mom not only knew how to play the game and play it well, but being the competitor she was she intended to win. The poor guy never had a chance.

I read a quote the other day that reminded me of this story about my mother and prompted me to share it with you. The quote said, “Life is an arena, not an armchair”. It was a perfect description of my mom, I thought, always a player rather than a spectator – active, involved, engaged, loved people, loved games and loved competition – even up to the very end. What a great example of an abundant life!


Abundant Living Vol. VIII, Issue 16

Did you ever imagine yourself starting a movement? You probably already have and didn’t realize it. We often think of a movement as something grandiose like the civil rights movement led by Martin Luther King, Jr., or a movement toward a cleaner environment, or a movement to revitalize a blighted part of the city. Such movements are life changing and world changing, but so are the movements you and I start.

So what is a movement anyway? A movement is nothing more than vision plus action. Vision by itself is only a dream, but when action is taken toward that vision – no matter how small – it has been put into motion and a movement is started.

Many years ago when our children were young we went on our very first family ski vacation. None of us had ever skied before so we joined a class to learn the basics. Once we were able to remain somewhat upright on our skis the instructor began to show us the next important element of skiing, how to turn. After teaching us some of the basic mechanics using our toes and feet and positioning the tips of our skis just right the instructor said this: “The most important thing to remember is that if you look over there you will go over there.” That is to say if you look toward where you want to go followed by just the slightest action with your toes, feet, and the tips of your skis, like magic you’ll go over there. In other words, you’ve started a movement in the direction you want to go.

We’ve probably all started more movements than we ever realized. Whatever our chosen career or profession it no doubt started with a vision followed by a course of study or training to prepare us for that particular field. That was a movement. Those of us who have raised a family have had a vision of the type environment we wanted our children exposed to and took whatever steps necessary to create or provide that environment. The same can be said of building a house, starting a business, or changing the direction of an existing business or organization. That’s a movement.

What about now? Do you have a vision about something in your life, business or career? Take action – even the smallest step – toward it and you’re in motion. You’ve created a movement, one that will be life changing for sure – maybe even world changing.


Abundant Living Vol. VIII, Issue 15

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48

When Bill Gates and Warren Buffet challenged their fellow multi-billionaires to give away a significant portion of their wealth as they had committed to do, it would be presumptuous to assume they had been directly influenced by the above passage. It would also be presumptuous to assume they were not. The fact of the matter is I don’t know what if anything in particular influenced their philanthropy except that they seem to understand that along with their extreme good fortune comes extreme responsibility. Other than that I am hesitant to speculate much about the motives of these two gentlemen since I do not know either one personally, nor do I know much about their personal values or beliefs.

Regardless of their motives, though, it is encouraging what these men did making a public statement about their wealth that ultimately says it is not theirs to keep but to give away – and to give away for the benefit of the greater good. At an even deeper level their message is all but an admission that their wealth had never been theirs to begin with, but a gift, their extreme philanthropy being a public recognition of that.

“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded . . .” is not a message intended for just the mega-wealthy, though. It applies to all of us; for we have all been blessed in some way with more than enough. And just as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet seemed to have recognized it is not for us to keep but to give away. Some have been blessed with financial wealth, some have physical strength and energy, others have wisdom, and most of us at the very least have the ability to offer a smile or an encouraging word. Whatever our gifts, talents, or resources might be, they have been entrusted to us not just for ourselves but for the greater good. What a privilege to be called to offer our abundance for such a greater purpose!