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Occasionally I suggest to my coaching clients that they should write their own epitaph.  Now that may sound a bit morbid at first, but it is intended as a visionary exercise not a fatalistic one.  If you can sum up, in other words, in just one short sentence or phrase what you would like to have said about you at the end of your life you have essentially written a vision statement, and a vision statement provides direction for your life.  That’s the purpose of the exercise. 

Several years ago our family became acquainted with a man named Max.  Max had at one time been a prominent banker, rancher and successful businessman but had suffered a severe stroke which left him mostly paralyzed and in need of full time care.  Always cheerful and outgoing, though, Max puttered around the facility where he resided in his motorized wheelchair visiting with fellow residents and greeting visitors when they arrived.  That’s how we first met Max. 

Max never forgot anything.  He remembered everyone’s name, where they were from, and what they were up to.  Having a conversation with Max was an absolutely delightful experience.  He was inquisitive, interesting and funny.  But Max did something I will never forget.  At the end of every conversation before we parted ways he would always remind us in some way to go live our lives to the fullest.  Then he’d look each one of us straight in the eye.  “Remember,” he would say, “this is not dress rehearsal.” 

At first I was puzzled by Max’s closing remarks, suspecting perhaps it had something to do with his confinement to a wheelchair, regrets about things he had done or failed to do.  Maybe, but then Max didn’t seem much like the type to harbor regrets or disappointments.  In fact, based on the stories we heard and the enthusiasm he continued to show I think Max had lived his life with the same vigor he was encouraging others to do.  Max lived as if he had written his epitaph.  

Let me ask you something.  If you could sum up in just one short sentence or phrase what you would like to have said about you at the end of your life, what would that be?  What will be your epitaph?  Think about it.  Remember, this is not dress rehearsal.

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.” – Albert Einstein 

We were visiting the Stonehenge in the beautiful English countryside several years ago and while we were there we rented those little headsets you can listen to when taking a self guided tour.  As we walked the paths among the ruins of this engineering phenomenon the narrator on the recording described several theories about who might have built Stonehenge in the first place, how they were able to do it, and what purpose it might have served.  But since no one is certain about its origin or purpose the narrator would conclude each theory with these words, “. . . but no one knows for sure.  It’s a mystery!” 

Some things in this world simply cannot be explained.  They remain mysteries.  It has been almost two years since our two little granddaughters were born.  I remember holding each one for the first time and examining their ten little fingers and ten little toes, the features of their eyes, nose, mouth, lips, and hair.  Yes, I know babies are born all over the world every day, but these two – well, they’re different you see, for they are my own flesh and blood which makes me much more keenly aware of the miracle of birth, of new life.  Recently, having had the opportunity to spend time with both almost-two-year-olds, I was overwhelmed by how much they have developed in a relatively short period of time, toddling around on their two little legs, pronouncing words, and even expressing opinions.  How does this happen?  Medical science may be able to explain many things about the formation of an embryo in a mother’s womb, the birth of an infant, and the growth and development of a child, but there is much it will never be able to explain.  In particular it will never explain the awe and wonder of holding a newborn in our arms for the first time.  It’s a mystery. 

Einstein may have had one of the most brilliant mathematical and scientific minds of any human in the history of mankind, yet he too was awestruck over the wonder and beauty of the unexplainable.  The origin of the Stonehenge remains one of the world’s unexplainable phenomenons.  But even more so is new life and new birth, and to witness it is one of the most beautiful experiences we can have.  It’s a mystery.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13 

Did you know that according to most estimates there are over 6,800,000,000 people living in the world today?  That is 6.8 billion in case the zeros are overwhelming.  Does that ever make you feel like just another rat in the rat race?  You’re not alone if you do.  But the fascinating thing is that within this massive population including all who have ever lived before us and all who are yet to be born each one of us is unique.  There is no one else in the world identical to you or me.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each and everyone different and placed here for a special purpose. 

In my particular profession of executive and professional coaching administering psychological assessments of some sort with our clients is a fairly common practice.  It is not for the purpose of psychological evaluation that we do this, for most of us are not trained psychologists in the first place; rather it is to increase each client’s awareness of his or her own specific and special talents, behaviors, and characteristics – what it is that makes them unique.  Once uniqueness is recognized then applied creatively in a person’s business, profession, and personal life both performance and satisfaction tend to increase dramatically.  It is the coach’s job to help make that happen. 

The first step, though, is to realize that we are not the result of some sort of human mass production.  We are instead uniquely and individually designed by the One who created our inmost being; the One who specifically knit us together in our mother’s womb.  We are not just rats in the rat race; we are each and everyone different and placed here for a special purpose.

 So as you begin your day today remember that there is no one else in the world identical to you.  You are unique, placed here for a special purpose.  Then consider how you might creatively apply that uniqueness to your business, profession, and personal life.  I’m willing to bet your performance will increase as well as your satisfaction.

“Do you know how old I’ll be by the time I learn to play the piano?” bemoaned the frustrated middle-aged novice.  “The same age you will be if you don’t,” her teacher responded. 

Over lunch this past week I had the privilege of listening to an old friend and former colleague describe the success she was achieving in her new sales career.  Want to know her secret?  It all began with her willingness to work on leads no one else would pursue, prospects considered too small to be worthwhile.  What others thought to be a waste of time, you see, my friend saw as opportunity.  Soon she became the top salesperson in her office in terms of opening new accounts, which led to more referrals and bigger accounts until – as my friend explained with a big smile – she landed what she referred to as a “whale”. 

People who get work are the ones who work – whether they are “working” or not.  Or as Julia Cameron puts it in her book The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, “What I am saying is that work begets work.  Small actions lead us to the larger movements in our creative lives.” 

My friend got work (translated, business) because she worked – even when she had no work (translated, business).  Work begets work.  Same holds true for the middle-aged piano student who may one day discover that practicing scales and playing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”, which seemed small and trivial at the time, were the very disciplines that led to her mastery of some of the great works by Chopin, Beethoven, or Mozart. 

Most of the time the next right thing is something small:  Going back to school, starting over as low-man-on-the-totem-pole in a new career, taking piano lessons in mid-life – or working the small leads no one else considers worthwhile like my friend has done. 

So what can you do – right now – what steps can you take in your life that will get you started on the road to that new success or skill?  Never mind that it may seem small, just go do that next right thing, be patient, and see what happens.

At least once a month you will find eleven-year-old Casey Rogers hanging out in the parking lot directly across from a Burger King in downtown Dallas, Texas where he spends his day distributing food and clothing to the homeless and needy.  It all began over three years ago when Casey and his dad were at the same Burger King and a homeless man approached his dad for a handout.  According to a recent article in the Dallas Morning News, “That struck a chord with Casey who was a foster child when he first went to live with Russell and Shelly Rogers a few weeks after he was born.  The couple adopted him when he was one.” 

“I was just like that,” Casey remarked to his parents, referring to the homeless population, “look how great y’all helped me.  Why don’t I help them?”  So, young Casey Rogers did a remarkable thing.  He founded his own charity called “Casey’s Heart” through which he gathers donations and distributes them to the homeless in downtown Dallas. 

Casey seems to have an amazing understanding about what we should do with our good fortunes when they occur, especially at his young age – that blessings are multiplied when we allow them to flow through us.  It’s like water that flows in a river or stream keeping it fresh and pure, providing for other living things along its path to flourish as well, rather than becoming stagnant and eventually evaporating as still water often does. 

“Praise God from whom all blessings flow . . .” proclaim the familiar words of the Doxology sung so often throughout the world.  Casey, though, expresses it this way, “. . . look how great y’all helped me.  Why don’t I help them?”  

Have you been blessed with good fortune in your life?   If so, take it from eleven-year-old Casey Rogers and allow your good fortunes to flow through you, providing for others along your path so that they might flourish as well.  It may surprise you how much your blessings will multiply.